Today’s article is by our friend Eric Crake. Eric is a massage therapist, holistic health advocate, podcaster, writer and stand-up comic. For more information about Eric and his excellent work check the links below this article.
Editor’s Note: As excellent as they are, our guest authors here at WASM may not share all the same beliefs that we do. In spite of this fact, we choose to present their thoughts on this website as raw as possible as part of our ongoing quest for education, entertainment and truth.
Test given to determine how full of shit a person is. The more someone is full of shit, the less shit he/she will be able to handle from external stressors.
Ex. “Stop whining about your life and how pathetic it is. Don’t test my patience with that bullshit.”
The act of determining the amount of shit one can take before overflowing with shit out of the ears, nose, eyes and other bodily orifices.
Ex. “Did you hear Bianca spent the day making Ryan’s life miserable and he never once called her out on her crap. Yup, he failed all of her shit testing.”
How do we find out what we have with a woman? Or in any relationship? Or an even who we are as individuals? The answer is by taking tests.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, we determine our positions in relation to others by testing the boundaries of both ourselves and those around us. Without this testing we would be an astronaut floating through a vacuum with nothing to bounce off of.
Why We Must Test Each Other
When I was a boy I would relentlessly shit test my dad. After all if I’m gonna take orders from this guy should I not make sure he is first qualified to be my leader? Well a woman’s thoughts are along the same line. She wants to know that you are qualified to lead her before she surrenders her body, mind and soul to you.
A woman’s surrender is what every high quality masculine man desires on a subconscious level. It’s also what every woman wants at her deepest most primal level – even pink mohawked social justice feminists. In fact these nut jobs want a real man even more than a traditional woman. Their erratic behavior is often a result of rejection and emotional wounding compounded by unfulfilled needs and desires. One could even look at one of these women as the Ultimate Shit Test. Dealing with SJWs is the pinnacle of challenge – and with much challenge comes much fun. Even if you don’t want to date or have sex with these types you can still learn how to pass their tests by grounding yourself and remaining non-reactive to their odd behaviors.
Women are often not consciously aware that they shit test you. This behavior is a safety and survival parameter hardwired into both men and women. Shit testing is the foundation of any hierarchy. If you fail the test too many times eventually you will lose your place on the totem pole.
Men shit test their bosses, friends and teammates to determine who the Alpha is. The difference between men and women in this regard is that generally men shit test intentionally and purposefully while women simply cannot help themselves.
The reason you should embrace and even relish a woman testing you is because she is subconsciously signaling to you that she potentially wants you to lead her. She might want you to lead her for the night or maybe for the next few years. In either event she wants to make sure you’ve got a strong grip before she hands over the reigns.
When a woman calls you out, pushes your buttons or any way tries to undermine or threaten your choices, most men feel disrespected. Their ego and pride becomes wounded. However, this it’s actually an opportunity in disguise. This is a chance to become a leader. Her leader. A chance to become more of a non-reactive stoic statue. She needs an unmovable lighthouse in the storm because she is the storm.
No matter whether it’s coming from your wife, the cute chick at the bar or the Hooters waitress, here are seven excellent reasons why shit tests are a good thing.
1) It Is Evolution Happening In Real Time
A woman shit tests a man in order to find the fittest and most resilient mate. Her bullshit is actually nature’s way of forcing you to evolve. If you can learn to know yourself so well that no outside force – even the allure of the feminine – can shake you, you will evolve into something greater. Women are the fire that burns away the chaff. Survive her flames and you will find a leaner, meaner version of yourself rising from the ashes.
I say ashes not just as a metaphor. She will literally seek your destruction. This has been the case since the beginning of time. This microcosmic cycle of destruction and rebirth on a daily basis is evolution at its finest. The masculine and feminine work in tandem to move forward. The female FORCES the man to evolve. As difficult circumstances in life arise, the male must become strong enough to overcome these challenges. If he demonstrates he is unsuitable to lead he will be discarded and she will find another man who is capable of leading her.
2) If She Stops Testing You It Means She Has Given Up On You
If a woman stops testing you she believes you have reached your potential. You are simply too soft and your ceiling too low for her to continue pushing you. The harder she pushes you emotionally the more potential she sees in you as a masculine force.
Just like a trainer in the gym, your woman won’t give you more than she thinks you can handle. It is a compliment. If she starts going too easy on you she has likely moved on and has begun shit testing her trainer at the gym or her massage therapist (just ask Jathan how many women enjoy giving him shit at work).
Women are the coaches and cheerleaders, men are the players. The masculine is on the court of life; The feminine sits on the sidelines as the encourager and spirit of the team. At the end of the day it’s players like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant that made Phil Jackson a legend and not the other way around. However each member played an integral role. It was their synergy that enabled the team to achieve greatness. Likewise a man out on the court of life is a mirror of his woman who is on the sidelines coaching, giving shit tests and keeping his blade sharpened for his daily battles.
3) She Is Literally Putting Herself In a Subservient Role To You
The boss does not give shit tests to employees. He’s the king of the jungle. His employees add to his business and hopefully make it run more effectively. However he does not NEED his employees. They need him. If an employee proves unworthy they are ultimately replaceable.
As harsh as it may seem, the same dynamic is true with male/female relationships. The man is naturally drawn to become the boss and the woman to become an employee. He employs her to advance his life purpose and add enjoyment along the way. The woman seeks employment based on the life purpose of the man, meaning she wants to get on his train. If she likes the direction his train is headed in she hops on. Women want to be taken on the ride of their lives – both in and out of the bedroom.
Just like a key employee, a woman should make your life better. She should add encouragement, enjoyment and value. But at the end of the day you must remember she is replaceable if she becomes a drag on your life purpose.
4) It Means She Loves You
Your woman knows the modern world is cold and unforgiving – especially to men. She is strengthening you and preparing you for the real world. Whether its your co-worker competing for that promotion or a thief in a dark alleyway, you will face threats. If you cannot handle a woman testing your resilience, how the fuck are you going to handle challenges when they really matter?
Like the raptors in Jurassic Park, your cunning partner will give you shit tests to systematically look for holes in your defenses. And the longer you spend with her, the more she will uncover. It’s easy to take this personally and to get pissed but the truth is women rarely test you consciously. Rather it is ingrained in her DNA to attack your weak spots so that you in turn become aware of your weaknesses and work on them before someone in the real world finds those flaws and exploits them.
One of a loving woman’s greatest benefits is to immunize and vaccinate you against your deepest insecurities. No one enjoys pain but it’s the only way to grow. Be grateful when a woman pushes you. Resistance builds strength and the stronger you are, the happier you are and the more effectively you will be able to perform in every area of your life.
5) If She Doesn’t Challenge You, She Likely Does Not Challenge Herself
Regardless of their sex, a high quality person wants – NO, NEEDS – to constantly challenge themselves. Growth is attractive. It’s fun. It keeps things fresh and interesting. If you’re not growing, you’re decaying and stagnation is the harbinger of death to any relationship. A high value woman knows this and will continuously challenge herself to grow.
Maybe she wants to learn how to cook something better. Maybe she wants to become a more effective communicator. Maybe she even wants to master Tantric Sexuality or Sensual Massage. Skills like these are all things that a man is going to want in a woman.
If she is growing she is going to expect the same out of you – and she should. If you’re not growing it’s time you got your shit together. Your big dreams and goals aren’t going to fulfill themselves without your hard work!
6) You Would Get Bored Without Shit Tests
One of the greatest parts of dating and sex is the element of the unknown and challenge. If there’s no possibility of rejection there’s no thrill of victory.
Sex is a game for a reason. This sporting aspect of courtship and seduction breathes life into an otherwise routine biological imperative. We all know that life without hardship, challenge and even suffering is not a life worth living.
If you’re pushing yourself hard enough every day, a woman giving you a hard time will not take you off guard nor will it offend you. It is no coincidence that I started to become much better with women right around the same time I started doing stand-up comedy. Every time I got on a stage, I had an audience to shit test me. After staring down a roomful of drunk critics who wanted to see me fail, a woman’s shit tests were easy and in fact most of the time amusing.
7) Life Itself Is Nothing but Shit Tests for Your Soul
Your life is a training ground for the advancement of your Soul. Great spiritual teachers tell us that we each have a physical body because our soul needs to grow in a way that only the harsh realities of this physical dimension can provide. The only reason you are alive is for you to overcome a series of shit tests and then you get to die. You die when you stop challenging yourself.
Look at the millions of old people around the world just passing time until they kick the bucket. They sit and stare and complain and make excuses. Now it’s true there are plenty of old people who are absolutely badass but most of them have given up. For whatever reason they decide to stop growing stronger and now it’s just a matter of weeks or months before they wither up and disappear.
Don’t fall into this trap! Keep fighting as long as you have breath in your lungs. There’s always something awesome you can do. Follow Dylan Thomas’ famous instructions: “Do not go gentle into that good night; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 or 85, the fight continues and a good woman will keep you battle-tested and ready for whatever challenges that will come.
Shit Tests – Recap
Why is it a actually a good thing when women shit test us?
- It Is Evolution Happening In Real Time
- If She Stops Testing You It Means She Has Given Up On You
- She Is Literally Putting Herself In a Subservient Role To You
- It Means She Loves You
- If She Doesn’t Challenge You, She Likely Does Not Challenge Herself
- You Would Get Bored Without Shit Testing
- Life Itself Is Nothing But a Shit Test for Your Soul
So remember, the next time a woman gives you shit be grateful: You now have a chance to show her the kind of strong, relaxed and powerful man that she secretly craves!
You can reach Eric at [email protected]
Also make sure to check out The INFP Eric Project on YouTube. He has over 2,500 subscribers, so it’s kind of a big deal.