Welcome back to Part 2 of WASM’s Sexual Satisfaction series! If you haven’t read Part 1 of our series, make sure to start there to learn all about Principle 1: Becoming a Student of Sex. Now on with the show!
What is the biggest sexual organ in your body?
Here’s a hint: It weighs about three pounds (haha, you wish it did)
Here’s another: It’s the same size for men and women (even Caitlyn Jenner)
The answer of course is the giant organ on top of your shoulders. Filled with a hundred billion neurons, your brain’s primary function is to keep you alive and working optimally in a chaotic world. Everything we’ve ever seen, heard or felt is stored inside that vast network of electrical impulses.
But the most valuable part of the human brain lies in an even more ephemeral realm: Our imagination.
Imagination is the foundation of creativity. It is the key to unlocking any door. And it the fastest and most powerful way to turn your woman into a dripping wet sexual degenerate.
Keep reading to learn how to use this key to transform your sex life forever!
Principle 2: Unlock Her Sexual Imagination
"I wanna, lick you from yo' head to yo' toes
And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'
Then I wanna, you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I gotta, know what what's your fantasy"
Ludacris (feat Shawnna) - "What's Your Fantasy?"
Ludacris is not the most attractive guy. He’s got huge eyeballs, a bulbous nose and big floppy ears. But for well over a decade he was considered one of the sexiest rappers on the planet. Women absolutely loved him. Why? He was smooth, he was funny but most of all he loved to get inside a woman’s head and unleash her sexiest fantasies.
As we discussed in Part 1, women love sex. They want it good and they want it regularly. But because life is filled with chaos and stress they are often way too busy taking care of problems to think sexy thoughts.
A woman’s primary language is EMOTION rather than LOGIC like a man. This means that when she is THINKING about stressful things she will be FEELING stressed. When she’s worried she will automatically use her powerful, beautiful brain to imagine all the possible things that could go wrong.
Stress is the opposite of sexy. If she feels frustrated or worried it’s a guarantee she won’t be feeling like getting naked.
This is where a strong, capable and fun Superior Man can truly be a woman’s knight in shining armor. If you can listen to a woman’s frustrations, let her vent as needed and stay positive without losing your sense of humor, she will soon be feeling much better. As soon as your girl knows her Superior Man is able to take care of her, she will immediately start feeling more relaxed and happy. From there, just like Ludacris, you can start flirting, teasing and letting her use her imagination to get naughty!
Do You Feel Me?
After the worries of normal life have faded into the background, she’s flirting with you and the vibe is good, this is the perfect time to get her creative juices flowing. When you’re ready to move the conversation in a more sexual direction we recommend some of the following questions to heat things up.
Note: Make sure to focus on details, incorporate all five of your senses (how the wine tasted, how the silk sheets felt, etc) and most importantly how everything FEELS. Remember, she’s a creature of emotion. If you want her to FEEL sexy, concentrate your discussion on her (and your) FEELINGS!
Sexual Imagination Starter Questions
“I’m really enjoying this moment. I feel like we should be listening to something romantic right now. What is a favorite song that always puts you in a romantic mood?”
- “Tell me about that song. When did you first hear it? What does it make you feel like?” (If possible play it immediately)
- Find out other songs she likes
- Tell her songs you enjoy as well. Give stories about when you heard them, what they make you feel like and why you love them.
- Examples: Nelly Furtado feat Timbaland “Promiscuous,” John Mayer “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” Boyz II Men “I’ll Make Love To You”
“I have a sudden urge to see you in (XYZ sexy clothing)”
- Describe in detail what she would be wearing and how hot it would be
- Start by describing the outside of the outfit (dress, skirt, pants) then move to accessories (jewelry, shoes) then – if the mood is right – to underwear (lacy bra, matching panties)
- Get creative (assassin outfit (skintight, no underwear?), escort (halter top, thigh high boots), superhero, cheerleader, anime girl, vampire hunter, etc)
- Examples: Here’s a great list of costumes to get you started
“Do you remember your first kiss?”
- Listen to her story (and, as soon as possible, kiss her)
- Tell her your first kiss story
- “What about the first time you did more than kiss?” (discuss…and maybe start moving toward a more private location)
- First time you did a lot more? (you see where we’re going here)
- CAUTION: Be careful if she asks you explicit details about YOUR sexual history. Stories about important points in your sexual awakening are great but keep the details vague. If you talk too much about old flames many women will become jealous or insecure.
There are hundreds of great sexual imagination starters out there. No matter which questions you use, remember these four rules to get her thinking about romance and sex:
- Focus on her feelings
- Harness her sexual imagination and all five of her senses
- Give her a chance to dwell on positive, fun, sexual thoughts
- Connect all of those feelings to YOU – her Superior Man who is leading her on this erotic adventure
Once the conversation has opened her up and she’s in a playful and sexual mood, it’s time to move the conversation towards more explicitly erotic territory. Although it’s possible to discuss fantasies when she’s not already aroused, you’ll be much more successful if you’ve already engaging her sexual imagination.
Generally the fastest and best way to begin conversations about sexual fantasy with women is erotic storytelling. Stories from movies and books are good, stories from friends are better and stories she’s experienced are the best.
Erotic Storytelling Starter Questions:
“I just saw/overheard/advertized (XYZ sexy movie/book) recently and it made me wonder what’s your favorite sexy movie/book?”
- “Tell me about it. What did you like? What were your favorite parts? What did that scene make you feel like?” (details are awesome here and very important)
- Share a scene from a movie/book that turns you on. Give lots of details.
- Examples: Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams “The Notebook,” Tom Cruise & Rebecca DeMornay “Risky Business,” Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis “Black Swan”
“Is it true women tell their friends the details of their sex lives? (Spoiler alert: It’s absolutely true) Wow, all those hot women together talking about sex. I want to hear one of their stories. Can you tell me one? I am 100% sworn to secrecy.”
- In most cases this question is almost irresistible for women…they’re DYING to tell at least one secret sex story
- Share a fun sex story that your friend has told you
“What’s one of the craziest, hottest things YOU’VE ever done?”
- This is the money question
- Ask questions. Make her describe it to you. What did she feel? How turned was she?
- CAUTION: Generally you’ll want to avoid telling your own sexual stories. As previously mentioned, hearing about your adventures with other hot girls will make most women feel jealous or insecure, both of which will kill the mood. You want to focus her imagination on upcoming activities that center around her and you. If she insists on asking you about who and what you’ve done in bed, a great answer is to say “I’ve had some fun times but after being with you nobody else is really worth mentioning.”
Again details are key here. As she tells her stories ask questions that involve all five senses. What did it look like? Sound like? Smell like? Taste like? Keep connecting with her emotions. Pay attention to how she’s responding as she tells you her adventures.
Because sex for women is such a mental activity, the more specific the details are in her stories the more aroused she’ll get. Compliment her storytelling, tell her that she’s turning you on and that she looks amazing right now. If you want, this is a great time to sexually escalate a little (kissing, touching a little bit, etc) but you’re not moving towards sex – at least not yet.
Your goal is much bigger than just sex. You want to unlock the secret desires she’s never told anyone else before….
Tell Me Your Fantasies
After telling a few stories and she’s worked up pretty good the time is right to ask her the real question you’ve been moving towards:
“I’ve never asked you before but I’ve always wanted to know…. What is one of your sexual fantasies?”
This question must be used in context. Unless she’s in the right state of mind (feeling totally safe and comfortable with you, already using her sexual imagination and feeling physically and mentally turned on) this question won’t work. In order for a woman to honestly describe her fantasies requires a tremendous amount of vulnerability and trust in the man.
What if she tells her secret fantasy and you get grossed out? What if you think she’s weird or damaged? What if you don’t want to have sex with her anymore? What if you’re so disturbed by her sexual imagination that you consider leaving her?
As men we love hearing what turns women on so the concept that she’d be terrified of rejection rarely even crosses our minds. But it’s a very real, very powerful fear for many women.
More Naked Than Naked
Before she answers the question it’s also very important that you prepare yourself for ANYTHING she might say. Fantasies are deeply personal parts of our psycho-sexual subconscious. They are a highly complex blend of our personality, upbringing, culture, sexual experiences and unconscious desires.
Whether it’s BDSM, blindfolds, leather jumpsuits, public sex, golden showers, threesomes, rape fantasies, clowns, criminals, or some truly bizarre kinks (we’re looking at you Voraphilia), the important thing to remember is that just like our favorite flavors of ice cream, men and women don’t choose what we like. It’s either hot or it’s not. We don’t have control of what turns us on.
Telling someone your fantasies means trusting them with your most vulnerable, most twisted self. It requires much more vulnerability than simply getting naked. Letting you take her clothes off is not very hard to do. Admitting that she secretly thinks about having a hot priest strip her naked and spank her in front of the entire church requires a shitload of trust.
The reason a woman will be willing to share herself with you at the soul level is because she trusts you to be her Superior Man. If she’s telling you her deepest and darkest sexual secrets it means she believes you can handle them. More profoundly, she NEEDS you to accept who she is at every part of her being. If she knows she can tell you about her rape fantasy, even if it scares her, she will be able to trust you with just about anything. In some cases working through her fantasy can even help her purge tremendously painful memories and achieve catharsis.
Her Darkest Desires Meet Her Superior Man
No matter what her fantasy is, it is absolutely ESSENTIAL that you remain calm, listen closely and learn about who this woman really is at her core. You may feel temporarily offended, grossed out, jealous, envious, insecure, horrified or even genuinely afraid. Don’t panic. Take a deep breath and let these emotions wash over you and dissipate. Remember why she’s letting you into her sexual imagination in the first place.
No matter what your woman says, she’s baring her soul because at some level there’s a psychological need she wants to understand. Her fantasy may be about anger. It may be about feeling in control. It may be about giving up control to someone else. It may be about letting herself experience the raw sexual pleasure her parents always told her was wrong. No matter what it is, her fantasy is neither good nor bad. There are only two kinds of fantasies: The ones we talk about out loud and the ones we’re too afraid to share.
It’s also important to pay attention to the difference between ideas and experiences. Just because the idea of an activity is a turn-on does not mean the activity itself is sexy. This woman fantasizes about trees coming to life and fucking her. Does this mean that she’s going to go trolling for some shrubbery? Obviously not. The same is true with prostitute fantasies. Just because your girl got turned on by Pretty Woman doesn’t mean she wants to walk the streets and get banged by two dozen ugly strangers every night.
A sexual fantasy is not the same thing as a sexual reality. Playing with sexual fantasies enables us to explore ideas and work through deep unmet needs in a fun and safe environment. Living out sexual fantasies in real life can be unhealthy, damaging to yourself or others and even dangerous.
If you ever start to worry about any of these things, remember why you’re here in the first place. Your goal is to find out who the two of you really are. You want to unlock your deepest sexual urges and desires. You want to use your collective sexual imagination as the playground. And ultimately you want to be more fully satisfied as a couple than you’ve ever been before.
Turning Fantasy Into Reality
As you learn more about each other’s fantasies, some of them will be quite practical to act out (tying her up with a silk ribbon, blindfolds, sex in the back of a movie theater), some less so (being kidnapped and anally probed by aliens, sex with Abraham Lincoln) and some pretty much impossible (participating in a 200 clown orgy).
However the two of you decide to explore your fantasies, you’re about to embark on an exciting adventure that will change both of you forever. It will take courage, strength, patience and love. But if you’re willing to do the work and break out of your comfort zones, exploring your fantasies will be an incredible opportunity to get closer to your woman and to keep your sex life fresh and exciting for many years to come.
Sexual Imagination – Review
Here are the steps to unlocking her (and your) wildest and most delicious fantasies:
- First set the mood by eliminating stress and worry from her mind
- Focus her imagination on fun, sexy THOUGHTS so she can have fun, sexy FEELINGS
- Ask her leading, romantic questions that incorporate her five senses
- Escalate her sexual imagination by using erotic storytelling
- Once she’s in the mood, ask her directly “What is One of Your Sexual Fantasies?”
- Remember that FANTASY does not equal REALITY
- Be supportive, courageous, understanding and patient
- Prepare to enjoy the most exciting and erotic sex you’ve had so far!
Stay tuned for upcoming articles in our Sexual Satisfaction series. We’ll be digging deeper into fun and sexy things you can do with your girl, including the best way to take super hot photos, adult toys (aka guaranteed orgasms), watching movies you’ll never finish, shopping that will get you laid and lots more!
Have Fun and Stay Superior!