The Second Date: Sexual Escalation


You just finished your first date and it went great. She was adorable, you were hilarious and by the end of coffee you were both flirting pretty heavily. Nice work man. Now it’s time for round two. In today’s article we’re going to cover how to create a fun, sexy experience where you’ll escalate from flirting to making out and maybe a lot more! Read on to learn how to master The Second Date.

Preparing for Date #2

Mental Preparation

As we’ve mentioned throughout our Sexual Magnetism series, confidence is king. No matter if this is your first date or your 50th wedding anniversary, your woman will look to you for leadership, strength and vision. Keep this in mind and you’ll be on solid emotional footing for all your romantic adventures.

The other big key is to remember you’re on a fact-finding mission. Your primary goal of the second date to figure out if this girl has long-term potential. Your secondary goal is to decide if she’s fun, interesting and emotionally stable enough to bang without worrying she’ll go psycho and cook your pet rabbit when you break things off. Both goals are obviously important.

Physical Preparation

The second date is more involved than the first date so you’ll need to spend some time planning and coordinating your events. If you’re going to a popular restaurant you will probably need reservations. If you’re making a picnic lunch, you’ll need to hit the deli and/or the grocery store. If you’re going to a concert at the nearby fair, make sure you get tickets for the right date and time. Check parking, traffic, weather and other related details. Make sure you have cash ahead of time. Make sure you also prepare your place in case she comes over afterwards (more on this later).

It make take several hours or even a few days to get all the information and material needed for the date. Start doing all the necessary legwork now. Things are always changing and if you’re not prepared it could mean the difference between a fun and sexually exciting date and a sad and frustrated woman.

“Where do we go on the Second Date?”


It’s a great idea for you to split your second date into at least two parts with different venues. Taking her to different locations will demonstrate you’re interesting and creative, you like to explore new things, and most importantly, you’re a good leader and she can trust you to be in charge. Plus, since most guys will only take her on the standard “restaurant date” at one location you will immediately set yourself apart from the average men.

Some examples of Mini-Dates include:

  • After work dinner at an inexpensive restaurant + Drinks at a nearby bar
  • Picnic lunch at the park + Walk in the woods
  • Coffee at a Cafe + Wander through interesting museum + Dinner at unique restaurant
  • Any combination of 2 – 4 short activities chained together

“How much should I spend?”

You’ll be going on less 2nd Dates than 1st Dates but if you’re actively dating your bottom line is still important to remember. A good goal is to spend about $30 for the entire series of mini-dates. Thirty dollars should be enough for a basic dinner and a drink at a bar with live music. Another favorite is a picnic, a bottle of wine and a walk by the ocean. Or maybe a hot-dog lunch and then cheap seats and beer at a local baseball game. Whatever you decide, don’t start throwing money around just yet. You like this girl but you still don’t know how well you’re going to get along.

Oh, and there’s a lot of debate in 2018 about who should pay for the date. Let’s cut straight through the bullshit: If you asked her out, you’re the one paying. Forget all the feminist propaganda. Biologically a woman both wants and needs you to take care of her. The Superior Man must understand and accept this fact. If you want your woman to be attracted to you, it’s your job to lead the date and provide for your woman.



Flirting is an essential life skill for every man. If you could use a little more background, make sure to check out our overview of the subject. Dates are the best places to really have fun and flirt with a girl. Here are a few things to focus on while you’re out with your hottie:

Compliment Her a Little (But Not a Lot)

Always start your date with a compliment. Pay attention to something about her that you like and mention it: “Wow you smell great,” “Nice necklace,” etc. Complement her on something she did, not her biology. “That dress looks sexy on you” is much better than “you look sexy.”

Then throughout the date you should say a couple of nice things about her but not too many. The reason you’re complimenting her is to let her know you appreciate her and that she’s attractive to you.

Don’t overdo it. Too many compliments are unnecessary and will quickly sound fake. Think about why you’re continually praising her. Most men compliment women because they either want something or they are insecure. Don’t be either of those guys.

Smile and Laugh

It’s a great idea to stand in front of the mirror and start noticing what your face is doing. Sometimes guys have a tendency to be too reserved with their emotions. You may be surprised how often you look like a sourpuss. To combat this tendency, we recommend you practice smiling. While you’re at it, enjoy yourself. Laugh a little. Make ridiculous faces. Once you’re familiar with the messages you’re sending, you’ll have a much better picture of what your date feels when she looks at you. And don’t forget we mirror what other people are doing. If you want her to smile, smile at her first!

Eye Contact

Good eye contact is powerful. When a man looks deeply into a woman eyes he can convey a multitude of emotions. Strength. Fearlessness. Curiosity. Humor. Warmth. Sexual desire. Practice catching a woman’s eyes with yours, holding her gaze and seeing what it feels like. You may be surprised at how intense, pleasurable and challenging that kind of eye contact really is.

But it’s also important to not overdo it. Extended eye contact with a woman can quickly become overwhelming. And definitely don’t stare at her. That’s a quick route to being creepy.


Your date knows more about herself than you do. If you want to learn what makes this woman special, ask questions and then stay quiet and listen to her answers. You can’t learn if you’re talking. While you’re discovering all of her interesting and fun details, don’t forget to be on the lookout for Red Flags as well. She may be hot but the odds are very low that this woman is going to be right for you. If you want kids, the sooner you find out she doesn’t like children the better.

Move Closer

Flirting requires proximity, especially as you’re escalating into physical touch. When she talks, move in just a little closer to her. Pay attention to her mouth. Her color of her eyes. The red in her lips. The sound of her voice. The smell of her perfume. Notice the details that are attractive to you and spend a little time reveling in those sensations.


A whole series could be written on this subject alone. Teasing is fun. It pushes her buttons. It almost guarantees she’s going to laugh and then hit you (and if she’s touching you that’s always a good thing). You want to be playful and exaggerate things. Don’t be afraid to be a little ridiculous. If her shoes have really high heels, call them giraffe shoes. If she wears glasses, call her a sexy librarian. If she doesn’t like peas, tell her she’s high-maintenance. If the date is at 8:00pm and she shows up 5-minutes late, tell her you’re sorry but you have an 8:10 date you have to get to. If she kisses you several times, call her a nympho. Talking shit with a hot girl is one of life’s great pleasures.

Teasing is a delicate balance between giving her crap but also entertaining her at the same time. It’s a bit of an art form because it requires you to pay close attention to your conversation. If you tease her too hard her feelings will be hurt, if you don’t push her enough it won’t be interesting. You’ll know you’ve found the right balance when she starts teasing you back. This is also a great sign for you to increase sexual escalation.

In short, treat her like your bratty kid sister. You’re in charge and she’s just along for the ride – if she behaves.

Touch Her During the Date

Transitioning from conversation to touch (aka kino) is the key that will unlock a woman’s sexuality. Touching her early sets the tone for the rest of the date – and so does your lack of touch. Far too many men have crashed and burned because they didn’t touch a woman all night and then suddenly went for the kiss at the end of the date. Female sexuality doesn’t work like a man’s. We function like light switches and women are like volume knobs. We’re ready to go in less than ten seconds and it might take her a good ten minutes before she considers being physical with you.

Start at the beginning. After you pick her up, always give her a hug (or kiss on the cheek if culturally appropriate). From there look for little ways to touch her. Open your car door for her and offer your hand to help her out. Pull out her chair for her at the restaurant and then push it back in. Help hold her overcoat as she removes it. If the crowd is louder, lean in and touch her arm or shoulder when talking to her. If you are moving through a crowded bar or club, guide her with a hand on the small of her back.

Once you’ve had some minor physical contact, look for more obvious ways of touching her:

  • Learn some basic palmistry and brag about your fortune-telling skills. If she gives you her hand, demonstrate your knowledge by tracing her heart and life lines with your finger.
  • “Notice” one of her rings and compliment it. When she reaches her hand out, hold it gently while you examine the ring.
  • If the date is going well and you have good chemistry, talk a walk together. After a minute or two, tell her “Hey, can I see your hand for a second?” When she reaches out, link your fingers with hers and keep walking. If she pretends to object, tell her “Don’t worry, I promise I’ll give it back.”

Keep your eyes open for opportunities to touch. Point out her shoulder tattoos and if she shows you, touch them. Thumb wrestle with her. Give her high fives and fist bumps. Definitely keep teasing her until she smacks you at least once. There’s a bunch of different ways to touch her and escalate your physical connection. Learn as many as you can and use them to generate more and more contact throughout the date.

The Kiss

As you continue to escalate your kino, your woman will either start to pull away from you or she’ll get turned on. If she’s acting as cold as a fish, no problem, just take her home. However, if she’s picking up what you’re putting down, this is the time to start looking for opportunities to make your move.

Holding her hand is the best bridge to kissing. Offering a short neck and shoulder massage can be a good transition to hand-holding or kissing. If she’s staring deeply at you, try touching her hair. Bring your hand down to caress her cheeks and chin. Lean towards her. At this point, if she’s not resisting you absolutely need to kiss her. She’s never going to say “Please kiss me” but if she’s in close proximity with you and she’s letting you touch her face, she’s deeply and powerfully aroused.

If you don’t kiss her at this point she’s going to wonder what went wrong. Every night men and women go home asexual because the man didn’t have the skills or the courage to make that last step. Take it! Carpe the fucking Diem!

Now it’s possible she may reject you before or during the kiss. This can happen for MANY different reasons, including worrying about how she didn’t shave her legs and she needs to stop you before she ends up naked, feeling uncomfortable with how quickly she is being sexual (even if she likes it), worrying her friends may think she’s a slut and many others.

Don’t be discouraged. If she’s allowing you close enough to kiss her (or to almost kiss), it’s a guarantee she likes you. Your desire for her lets her know she’s attractive and even if she shuts you down her ego has still gotten quite a boost and she’s feeling great. Stay in control of yourself and keep leading the date. Enjoy holding her hand. Keep making jokes and teasing her. Let her know you’re still thinking about her lips. Continue to stay aggressive and sexually obvious and look for further opportunities to kiss her again, this time for longer.

Becoming physical with women is often like fishing. You pull for a while until she gets close, then you let her run for a bit, then you pull her closer, then you let her go. This push/pull is perfectly normal and as long as you don’t lose your cool each time she backs off, it will happen all the way until she is naked in your bed and screaming your name.

Sex On the Second Date

If you’ve followed these steps all the way to this point, she will definitely be thinking about sex with you. Whether or not she is ready to have sex tonight will vary significantly depending on your lady. Some women will have no problem with sex on a second date. In fact there are plenty of chicks who are totally cool with sex on a first date. On the other hand, some women make it a habit to wait several months regardless of how great the guy is. It really just depends on the woman.

If you both decide you’re ready for sex, great! If you are planning on sex from the beginning, you will obviously want to take all the necessary steps to prepare yourself hygienically and clean and prep your home. Wherever you end up, always make it a habit to bring new condoms on every date. There’s nothing worse than having both of you in the mood and having to cut things short because you forgot protection.

If she (or you) decide you’re not quite ready to take that big step, that’s totally cool. You are in  control of your sex life. You get to say what happens and when. Sex is a tremendously personal decision and the only one who knows what’s best for you is you. Having said that, if you decide not to sleep with her you tonight should still continue to be physical with your date. Sooner or later if you keep making her feel this good she’s going to want you inside her. It’s now your job to calculate when and how that’s going to happen.


End the Date Before She Wants It To End

Regardless of whether you just kissed a bit, made out a lot, did some serious heavy petting or ended up in banging in your van down by the river, it’s important that YOU end the interaction. There are two reasons for this.

First you need to demonstrate you have other priorities above her. Your time is valuable (“I have a project I need to work on”), your health is important (“I need my beauty sleep”), you have a social life outside of her (“Gotta get to my friend’s party”), etc. No matter how fun and sexy this woman is, she should NEVER be your number one priority in life. Your mission is always your #1 priority. If you confuse these priorities you are in danger of ‘Putting the pussy on a pedestal,’ a one way ticket to lonely masturbation-town.

Second, whoever leaves first is the one with the power. It’s a subtle thing but it’s important. Think about what it feels like to have a girl tell you “Soooo, thanks for the date but I should get home.” That feels very different than you telling her “Hey, it’s been great but I gotta run. I’ll call you soon.” This goes for phone calls and texts, too.

The goal is to always leave her feeling happy and slightly miffed at you for leaving before she wanted you to go.

Hitting the Eject Button

If the date isn’t working out for you (or for her) you should end it as soon as possible. The first date may have gone well but if you’re halfway through your 2nd Date and she can’t stop talking about how she misses her ex-husband, it’s time to go. There are a million reasons why the two of you might not work out in the long run and you want to find them as soon as possible. However, if all you are looking for is to hook up, in that case go for it!

Also, don’t be afraid to cut the date short. One of the biggest reasons to have mini-dates is that you can always bail with a minimum of hassle after any activity. The second you know this woman doesn’t have potential it’s your responsibility to end the date. Excuse yourself politely and move on. Your time, energy and money are better served elsewhere.

The 3rd Date and Beyond

Dates 3, 4, 5 (and beyond) should be extensions of your 2nd Date. If you still really enjoy each other at the end of the Date #2, ask her out again and next time push things further physically. Modern women are statistically ready for sex by the third date so it’s your job to continue escalating sexually until she’s is ready. Of course you need to consider your respective cultural and religious backgrounds and adapt as necessary but the truth remains: Her vagina and your penis and going to want to spend quality time with each other as soon as possible. Ignoring your biology for too long is a recipe for all kinds of mental, emotional and eventually physical trauma.


  • Mentally and Physically Prepare for Date #2
  • Schedule Mini-Dates
  • Spend Less Than $30
  • Flirt
  • Tease and Be Playful
  • Touch Her
  • Kiss Her
  • Make Out / Escalate Physically
  • End the Date First
  • Escalate Further on Date #3 (and Beyond)

Follow these steps you’ll be well on your way to having many fun, exciting and sexy dates. But be aware – just like anything there is a dark side to dating. On your holy quest for an amazing woman you’ll have to fight your way through emotional traps, mind games, sexual manipulation, hundreds of lies and some of the worst behavior imaginable. If you want to survive the chaos with your sanity intact, make sure you don’t miss next week’s article about Red Flags. If you haven’t already signed up, make sure to subscribe below to have Red Flags and all our great material delivered directly to your inbox – all for free!

Be good, have fun and remember, Stay Superior!

Photo by Valerie Elash on Unsplash

Join Wearesuperiormen!!

Do you love our content?

Of course you do!

Please help support by clicking through the banner below for your shopping. It won’t cost you anything extra and it helps us keep the lights on. Thanks so much!

The Second Date: Sexual Escalation 1

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, see our disclosure policy here.


Jathan is passionate about helping create a community of great men. He enjoys beautiful women, altered states and Monty Python jokes. He lives in San Diego with two cats and a lot of books. Email him anytime at [email protected]


Matt is a husband, a father, an avid motorcycle rider, and an all around awesome guy.
Back to top button