Ahhh porn. Man’s original guilty pleasure. Pick any point in history and you will find some kind of pornography. Pictures. Sculptures. Drawings. Movies. Games. If there’s one thing in life that is always true it’s that men will find some way to look at naked women being sexy. But access to those tempting images hasn’t always been easy.
For thousands of years in various cultures, creating a sexual drawing or photograph could send the artist to jail (or worse). Even in the United States, a nation that prides itself on freedom, it took two centuries and dozens of legal battles before pornography was grudgingly accepted under the First Amendment. And then, even after it was legalized, viewing sexually explicit material was still restricted, expensive and taboo – and the creators and viewers of such works were often condemned as criminals.
The internet changed everything. Want some figures? During the month of March 2018 the porn site Xvideos had 4.95 Billion hits. That staggering number doesn’t include Xnxx (4.2 Billion), PornHub (3.6 Billion), Xhamster (1.5 Billion) or any of the other thousands of porn sites on the internet. And remember, all of that was just a single month.
Hey, is it any wonder? Not only is internet porn instantly available, it’s free, and, even better, you can anonymously view it in your own home without anyone knowing your weird fetishes.
It’s a fact: If you’re a guy and you’re reading this article you can watch naked women doing naughty things. But should you? Considering how many guys are watching, it’s time we tackled the subject of pornography head on (so to speak).
Before we go any further, it’s absolutely vital to realize every person’s sexuality is tremendously complex and personal. No man is quite like any other man. The things that turn me on may weird you out and vice versa. That’s okay. Culture, tradition, religion, upbringing, prior relationships, past traumas, personality, curiosity and a host other factors all color our individual needs. The key is understanding that our desire for sex is natural, healthy and an essential part of our mental and physical well-being.
The Five Color Scale
The goal of this article will be to help you determine whether the use of porn is appropriate for you. According to recent research, viewing sexually explicit materials can make you happier. It also has the capacity to potentially damage your relationships, hurt your self-esteem and cause sexual dysfunction.
Just like alcohol, porn is neither good or bad; it all depends on context. With that in mind, we’re going to use a five color scale to help you decide whether or not you should currently be viewing sexy things.
Everything in the Green Zone is safe. If you’re here, you can rest assured that you’re in a positive space with your sexuality.
The Green Zone
1. If you’re single by choice
If you’ve decided a relationship isn’t appropriate for you at this point in your life, porn can be a great, temporary option. The key is to make sure you’re not replacing real, interactive relationships with sexual fantasies that will leave you unfulfilled in the long run.
2. If you don’t want a commitment right now
All interactive sex requires a commitment of some kind. Even if it’s only a one-night stand, you still have to initiate the episode, plan the event, make sure your partner has clear expectations, take care of their needs, and then do your best afterwards to end things on good terms (which is not always as easy as it seems). Any relationship will require exponentially more time and energy. Porn is fast, easy and requires zero commitment – but then again, you get what you pay for.
3. If you want to learn new sexual positions, techniques or ideas
Learning how to make love to your wife by watching porn videos is about as useful as getting hairstyle advice from President Trump. You can’t learn from a teacher that doesn’t know the subject. Having said that, professional sex actors do know a lot about sexual techniques and have various skills that could benefit you. For example, if you want to learn how to go down on a girl until she comes, lesbian porn could be very helpful.
4. If you’re training for various sexual skills (stamina, multi-orgasmic, edging, etc)
Sex is like anything, if you want to get good you need to practice. Lasting longer in bed, prolonging your orgasm or even coming multiple times are all skills that can be learned. However, learning those skills takes time, effort and study. It’s awesome to be able to study with a partner but sometimes you will need to practice on your own. In those cases porn can offer you a partner (or three) to experiment with.
The Yellow Zone
From this point on things get more complicated. Everything in the Yellow Zone assumes you are currently in a relationship with a girl and all relationships are in a continuous state of flux. Her feelings are always changing, her perspectives are not always clear and her sexuality tonight could be very different from what it was last night (or even ten minutes from now). The bottom line is that if you’ve started a relationship and you want to keep watching porn, the first thing you need to do is have ‘The Talk.’
Most of you know already know what we’re talking about. For those of you who don’t, The Talk is when you sit down with your girl and tell her, point blank, that you want to be honest with her and she needs to know that you watch porn. Until you’ve had The Talk with your girl, every time you watch porn you are potentially risking your relationship. Don’t make this mistake. Have the difficult conversation and clear the waters. She deserves to know everything about your sexuality, just like you deserve to know everything about hers.
Once you’ve had The Talk, she understands that you watch porn, and she says she’s cool with it, you can now watch sexy things while still maintaining a healthy relationship.
The reason this is the Yellow Zone and not the Green Zone is because your girl is not like you. Her emotions can and will change depending on a variety of factors. Don’t make the mistake of assuming her opinions and feelings about sex will always be the same. Be ready at any time to have conversations about sex – and porn – throughout your relationship.
The following are situations where you can use porn in a healthy relationship with good communication:
1. If you’re short on time
Life can move pretty fast. Often it moves so fast that you barely have 30 seconds with the one you love. When the two of you don’t even have time for a quickie and you’re bursting at the seams, porn can provide some welcome relief.
2. If she doesn’t want sex tonight
She may be tired, sick, on her period or actually have a headache. She may also be worried, sad or stressed. Unlike for men, sex for most women is an emotional experience that requires her to be feeling certain things. If she’s not feeling well for any reason, sex is probably not on the table (or anywhere else). In those cases, take care of her, put her to bed, and then take care of yourself.
3. If your partner isn’t available
Sometimes your schedules don’t line up. You’re traveling, she’s at home. You’re home, she’s at her parents with the kids. She’s traveling, you’re working long hours on a project. The good news is that porn is always available wherever you go.
4. If you and your partner are curious about trying something new
Depending on her level of thrillseeking, it can be scary for her to try new things. Porn can help! Introducing your girl to the concept of, say, light bondage can be much less intimidating if she watches someone else get tied up first. She can ask questions and help you to find her limits, all while feeling safe and secure.
5. If you aren’t ready for sex yet
You may be a virgin. You may be waiting for marriage. You may be in a relationship where you’re not quite ready for that next step. Unfortunately, your body doesn’t really care what your relationship status is. Sooner or later, biology is going to win. If you don’t want to lose your mind, porn can help you release some steam.
And, of course,
6. If you and your partner enjoy it together
This is obviously the most fun. Watching other people have sex can provide hours and hours of conversation, ideas and fantasies. Best of all, you can watch your partner get turned on and take full advantage of her.
As you can see, there are a bunch of great benefits of looking at naked people. But it’s not all sunshine and roses. Read on for Part 2 of this series: Should You Stop Watching Porn? We’ll be talking about the times where you shouldn’t be viewing sexy things and even a few genuinely dangerous situations.
PS. Since we’re on the subject, here’s some good stuff for you and your lady to check out….