Families come in all shapes and sizes, some large, some small, some intact, others fractured. It’s no secret that having a strong family can have many profoundly positive effects on your life including increased physical and mental health as well as a better character.
Many definitions of family exist, from the traditional nuclear family with a mother, father and children, to a married couple, or an unmarried couple, to a blended family with step children. I know there are even more definitions but for this article I will speak on the above descriptions.
The family unit is under assault from all sides at all times. There are endless temptations for husbands and wives to stray from each other. In this time of easy no fault divorce, many people opt out and look for the grass to be greener on the other side instead of finding the right person to marry and putting the work in from the start.
Marriage and divorce rate
According to the latest CDC stats for marriage and divorce (year 2014) there were 2.1 million marriages and 810,000 divorces. Over the past 15 years the number has held around 6.9-8.1 marriages per 1,000 people and around 3.2-4.0 divorces per 1,000 people. With the trend for marriages AND divorces going down. I.e. fewer people are getting married AND fewer people getting divorced over that time. Interesting when it is “common knowledge” that the divorce rate is 50%.
What these numbers tell us is that fewer people are getting married and the traditional family is changing. For better or worse those are the numbers. So why is it happening? What are some of the causes? What Can we do about it? The only person you have control of in a relationship is YOU, let’s look at what YOU can do as a man.
Uninvolvement of men in relationship
Grow up, take responsibility for your actions. Tough pill to swallow for most people. We MUST look inward before we look to others.
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”– Marcus Aurelius
A Superior Man must take stock of what’s going on in your life, develop a plan and put it into action to fix things that are broken, mend what needs mending and grow those things that need to be nourished. One of the best books I have come across for that is “The Mindful Attraction Plan” by Athol Kay. If you haven’t read this book I highly recommend it.
When you lead correctly your woman will follow. A woman is the best balance to a man, she will point out your flaws in the way only a woman can. She is one of the best mirrors we can have, and her feminine energy is a great balance to our masculine energy. Having a great partner is something that cannot be overstated, she is critically important to a happy and healthy home. But that is an article for another day.
What a Superior family should be
All the joys that come along with life are so much sweeter when shared with others, and all the sorrows that come in life are much better absorbed with a strong family structure. And with stability with you and your partner you are able to bring children into the world and instill them with your same dedication. Children should be raised to be adults you’d actually want to be around. Teach them respect, if you are religious, teach them your religion not by attending, but by your words and actions. Children are MUCH more attentive that most people give them credit for – they are sponges – soaking up the world around them, give them something positive instead of all the negative society in general has to offer.
The many families you are a part of
What if you don’t have children or a spouse, does that mean you have no family? Absolutely not, however you must reach out into your social network a bit more and be willing to open yourself up a bit and get out of your comfort zone. Some examples are your work, church, social clubs etc.
How To Lead and Grow Your Superior Family
Lead by example
This one should be obvious, but pretending to be something you’re not just won’t work, you have to be genuine. Be the real deal.
Choose the best first mate
Your partner should be there to compliment you. She should be there for you to count on, and you be there for her. She needs to be the right girl for the moment AND for the future, this is no easy task. As Socrates said “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
Integrity means in part, doing the right thing no matter if someone is there to notice it. Remember, someone always notices, even if it’s only you.
Make tough decisions
Easy decisions are just that, easy. But Superior Men make tough decisions and look at the long term. Delaying short term gratification often pays much larger dividends in the future.