TSMP #53 – BDSM: Does She Need a Good Spanking?

Matt and Jay discuss why women are so fascinated by “50 Shades of Grey,” the rise of BDSM in popular culture and the reason 50% of women have a “rape fantasy.” Plus tips on how beginners can enjoy bondage, the value of power games, turning household objects into sex toys…and so much more!

We’re very excited to announce our books “Sexual Magnetism” “The WASM Dating Handbook” and “Secrets of Sensual Massage” are now available to download on our website!

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Ep. 53 – BDSM: Does She Need a Good Spanking?

8:00 – Matt’s first experience with “50 Shades of Grey” – Bible thumpers thumping something else…

10:00 – The MASSIVE popularity of “50 Shades” and why it’s such a big thing

12:00 – The rise of BDSM in popular culture

13:30 – Surprising amount of kinky sex in current music: Cardi B, Billie Eilish, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and of course the Eurythmics

16:30 – Adam and Eve online sex store has a large (and popular) “50 Shades”-themed accessories

17:30 – Studies show Canadians, Bulgarians and Americans are all interested in and play with BDSM. As for the rest of the world? “50 Shades of Grey” was translated into 60 different languages, sooo…probably them too.

19:00 – 2019 PornHub highest ranking categories: #5 “Cosplay” and #10 “FemDom” (aka Female Domination)

20:00 – Definition of BDSM: Bondage / Discipline / Domination / Submission / Sadism / Masochism

21:30 – Bondage is usually the easiest – and consequently the first – element of BDSM that most people experiment with. Starts with masks, blindfolds and silk handkerchief restraints and goes from there.

23:30 – Domination/Submission: One person in charge, the other submits to their control

24:30 – “Choreplay” – and why it rarely works

26:00 – Sadism: You enjoy giving psychological and/or physical pain to others

27:00 – Masochism: You enjoy receiving psychological and/or physical pain from others

28:30 – There’s a history of BDSM going back to at least the 5th century BC

30:00 – 4th century BC: Kama Sutra describes “4 different ways to hit someone during lovemaking”

31:00 – History of sadism and masochism: First attributed to French and Austrian noblemen

33:30 – People have considered BDSM inappropriate and deviant only in the last several hundred years

35:30 – Women buying “Bodice-Ripper” romance novels

37:30 – Psychology Today says about 50% of women confess to fantasizing about non-consensual sex (aka Rape Fantasy)

39:00 – Largest study of its kind: A 2008 sex study of nearly 20,000 Australians found that “[e]ngagement in BDSM was not significantly related to any sexual difficulties.” Not only that, but men who engaged in BDSM “scored significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men.”

40:00 – The different gender needs of sexuality: Multiple recent studies show most men fantasize about dominating a woman which works for most women because they primarily fantasize about submitting to a man.

42:00 – Are you being dominant enough in your relationship?

43:30 – THE foundation of all satisfying BDSM experiences? Getting CONSENT

45:00 – To make sure power games work in the bedroom, you need to show your woman you take control in your own life

47:00 – Why lazy guys are NEVER sexy to women

48:30 – Why you MUST set up boundaries before you play with BDSM

52:00 – What is “Aftercare” and why is it critical for every couple that experiments with BDSM?

53:30 – The psychology of BDSM: Using sex to explore your psyche and deepen your relationship. Questions, fears, trust needs, etc.

55:30 – Dr. Carol Queen (author of “The Sex & Pleasure Book“) gives her suggestions for BDSM beginners just starting out

57:00 – Pre-negotiated words to use during sex – make sure to discuss ahead of time: “whore” “slut” “jerk” “pussy” “bitch” etc

58:30 – Consider where you are in relationship with woman when planning BDSM experiences

60:00 – The value of role-playing

62:30 – Bottom line if you want to play with BDSM:

1. First work on yourself. Be the man that she can trust fully.
2. Make sure you have excellent communication before you stay playing.
3. Prepare to find new things in yourself – and in her.
4. Have fun!

If you’re ready to learn the exact steps to becoming sexually attractive to women, make sure to pick up a copy of our book “Sexual Magnetism” at our bookstore now!

And don’t forget to use discount code PODCAST to save 25% on all our books, including “Sexual Magnetism,” “The WASM Dating Handbook” and “Secrets of Sensual Massage“!