In this episode Matt and Jay viciously satire Wage Gappers and create “A Perfectly Balanced Society.” Also: The 4 Qualities That Make People Profitable, Stealing WiFi at Starbucks and the truth of why the “Gender Pay Gap” REALLY exists and Five Steps to Fix It.

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Warning: This episode is FILLED with heavy sarcasm and doublespeak. Listen to the ENTIRE episode before sending us hatemail…but hey, if you’ve heard the whole thing and you’re still mad, send em our way!

Episode 25 Notes

WASM Article: Five Steps to Eliminate the Gender Pay Gap

—- Dark Sarcastic Drama Begins Here —-

3:00 – Step 1. Education: Balancing men and women in the world into a nice 50/50 split

5:00 – Proactive surgical altering of men and women

7:00 – There are way too many female strippers and not enough male strippers

9:00 – To be fair we need less women in college

11:30 – Step 2. Work Experience: No increases in pay for anyone ever

13:30 – CEOs and Janitors should make the exact same salary

14:30 – Step 3. Extra Hours: No extra money for extra hours

16:00 – No more sick days for you or your family – Respect your employer!

19:30 – Stop having emergencies! Stop being selfish!

21:00 – No more job changes / One life = One career

23:00 – Eliminate world travel

24:00 – Step 4. Children: Both men and women should be able to be pregnant / Blatantly unfair!

26:00 – Human genetics are obviously wrong / Transferring all our nation’s finances to solving this problem

29:00 – In the short term, voluntarily sterilization is the fairest way to solve the male/female genetic discrepancy

31:30 – Step 5. Work Until You Die / It’s time to eliminate the idea of retirement

34:30 – No problems with Social Security if everyone is still working!

36:30 – Everyone will be assigned a hobby by their local government / No more competitive sports

39:00 – When you can’t pull your weight, voluntary “retirement” (aka Suicide) will be your civic duty

41:30 – Once we get rid of personal choice, everyone can be equal and be happy!

—— End of Tongue-In-Cheek Drama —–

43:00 – The five real steps to fixing the gender pay gap

43:30 – Just because you start at the bottom doesn’t mean you can’t accomplish great things!

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins

46:00 – You are NEVER owed ANYTHING by ANYONE

48:30 – Stealing the WiFi in the Starbucks parking lot

52:00 – Read the instruction manual before you start

55:30 – Men make more money than women AFTER she gives birth to children

57:30 – Most of the top female lawyers leave their high-pressure careers in their thirties (Stanford Law and Policy Lab)

1:01:00 – Only 15% of equity partners at top 200 law firms in the US are women. This hasn’t changed in the last 15 years. The problem isn’t equality – the law firms WANT women to stay and work. Women are choosing to leave. (University of Texas)

1:05:00 – Four qualities that make people more profitable: Agreeableness, Extraversion, Mobility and Availability

1:08:30 – Because of our innate biological drives, equality is impossible

1:10:00 – BLS Statistics on how much women work, before and after, childbirth

1:11:00 – A man’s responsibility for dealing with the Gender Pay Gap

1:14:00 – A woman’s responsibility for dealing with the Gender Pay Gap

1:18:00 – Men and Women are DIFFERENT and those differences make them work perfectly together as a TEAM!

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