Matt and Jay discuss the counter-intuitive theory that we enjoy life more when we choose to experience less overall pleasure. Also on today’s pod: Our favorite shows to binge watch, some very depressing statistics, 10 ways to be happier by reducing pleasure, the impressive work ethic of serial killers – and a lot more!
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Episode 23 Notes
2:45 – Happiness = Jet skis?
4:45 – How many people do family dinners every night?
6:30 – Kids want constant stimulation – but in the 21st century it’s very different
9:00 – The average person consumes 11 hours of media per day (Nielsen) / Teen depression statistics on the rise for the last 80 years / 26 million Americans with severe depression in 2016 / 20 million with a substance abuse problem
12:00 – Hyper-stimulating our emotions
14:00 – Game of Thrones, Maury Povich and being grateful for someone else’s misery
17:30 – Why Facebook reduces happiness
21:00 – How are YOU framing YOUR reality?
22:00 – 2018 study by health insurer Cigna: 40% of Americans say they “lack companionship,” their “relationships aren’t meaningful,” and that they feel “isolated from others.”
23:00 – How to break this cycle? Jordan Peterson says: “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday not to who someone else is today.”
27:30 – Even evil bastards still have to work their asses off to accomplish big things
30:00 – What media are you absorbing? Is it helping you – or hurting you?
31:30 – 10 Steps to Reducing Pleasure and Increasing Happiness
32:00 – Step 1. Start Noticing What You’re Doing
35:30 – Step 2. Appreciate the Little Things / Start a Gratitude List
37:30 – The value of savoring really good beer
40:30 – 6 Habits to improve every day: Jay recommends Hal Elrod’s excellent book The Miracle Morning.
42:30 – UC Berkeley Gratitude List study: Research showed making a gratitude list had significant psychological benefits for counseling patients. Even better? Those benefits lasted for months afterwards.
43:00 – Step 3. Reduce Multiple Good Experiences Into Singular, Excellent Experiences
49:00 – Step 4. Meditate / Actual meditation or doing high-focus activities (motorcycles / skydiving / lifting heavy weights)
51:30 – Old people being grateful even if they’re doing nothing
53:00 – Darth Maul vs Jedi – The Power of meditation and silence in the middle of chaos
55:30 – Step 5. Start Fixing Your Problems / A powerful book to help: Athol Kay’s The Mindful Attraction Plan
58:00 – Step 6. Make Progress On Your Projects Every Day / Dr. Phil’s one simple thing everyone needs to do improve their lives: “If you want to start having a better life, finish what you start.”
1:03:00 – Steps 7 & 8. Make It a Habit To Do the Uncomfortable Things / Start with Making the Bed and a Cold Shower
1:10:00 – Step 9. Accept What Is Happening Right Now / Regardless of good or bad
1:12:00 – If it’s a fun experience, it’s great; If it’s a horrible experience, it will be a great story
1:15:00 – Step 10. Find Pleasure Where You Are / Start looking for what’s interesting, curious or valuable around you everywhere you go
1:18:30 – Gary Vaynerchuk: “Way too many people in this room are going to spend the next 30, 40 years of their lives trying to check the boxes of the things that they’re not as good at, and because of that, you’re going to waste a lot of time. I highly recommend for all you hustlers, that you go all in on your strengths. Find the thing you are good at, and you love and you want to improve on.”
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Thanks to the great music by:
Disconnected by Alex (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/AlexBeroza/55012 Ft: ducket
Super Rich by Alex (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/AlexBeroza/43346 Ft: Hans Atom & Faded Millions