The Rational Male – Bookcast #12

The Rational Male (2013) by Rollo Tomassi

The Rational Male is a rational and pragmatic approach to intergender dynamics and the social and psychological underpinnings of intergender relations. The book is the compiled, ten-year core writings of author/blogger Rollo Tomassi from

Rollo Tomassi is one of the leading voices in the globally growing, male-focused online consortium known as the “Manosphere.”

Outlined in this book are the concepts of positive masculinity, the feminine imperative, plate theory, operative social conventions and the core psychological theory behind Game awareness and “red pill” ideology. Tomassi explains and outlines the principles of intergender social dynamics and foundational reasoning behind them.

Read and listen to “The Rational Male” on Amazon!

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“The Rational Male” Show Notes

0:00 – Intro to “The Rational Male”

  • This book was written as a science-based study of the underlying sexual objectives that drive women and men, both individually and collectively. Tomassi’s goal is to help men take the “Red Pill” and unplug from the fem-centric Matrix worldview that dominates modern Western society

WASM Article: The Red Pill For Dummies

  • Intended audience: Any man who wants to see the world “as it actually is,” any man who has become bitter because of a woman (or women), any man who wants more and better sex, and any man who would like a successful long-term relationship
  • People who won’t like it: Feminists, White Knights, AFCs, anyone who secretly believes in Disney romance and “happily ever after”

5:00 – How easy is the book to read?

  • Difficult – Dense, complicated, verbose and filled with psychology terms but VERY valuable. Recommended to be read over the course of several weeks.
  • Print: 302 pages (12+ hours)
  • Audio: 14 hours

6:00 – Reviews and Significance of The Rational Male

  • 1,639 reviews, 4.6/5 stars
  • Bedrock “Manosphere” Red-Pill primer
  • Currently: 
    • #49 – Dating
    • #127 – Love and Romance
    • #10 Audible – General Sexual Health (Assuming Sexual “Mental” Health here) 
    • #13 Audible – Sex & Sexuality

8:00 – Bio of Rollo Tomassi

  • Author of the Red-Pill classic “The Rational Male” and the follow-up books “The Rational Male, Book 2: Preventative Medicine” and “The Rational Male, Book 3: Positive Masculinity.”
  • Creator of
  • One of the first and most well-known bloggers of the manosphere – Started blogging in 2001
  • Almost no personal information about Rollo – he’s deliberately and effectively anonymous
  • Rollo Tomassi is a pseudonym, taken from the movie L.A. Confidential. “Rollo Tomassi” was the name one detective gives to the anonymous, unknown man who killed his father. 
    • Is there a connection here? By naming himself “Tomassi” is this blogger saying, in his own creative way, that he had to “kill” the beliefs and worldview of his own father? 
  • Born April 1948 — He’s 52 years old
  • Married for 23 years (as of this podcast)
  • Has a 21-year old daughter
  • Lives in Reno, Nevada
  • “[A] lot of what prompted my writing was the suicide of my brother-in-law and another good friend back in 2003….these deaths were what moved me to try to help other men more directly.”

13:00 – Major Themes of the Book

  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 
    • Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi # 2
    • NEVER, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #3
    • Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
    • NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry within 6 months.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #5
    • NEVER allow a woman to be in control of the birth-control.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #6
    • Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
    • It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #8
    • Always let a woman figure out why she won’t fuck you, never do it for her.
  • Iron Rule of Tomassi #9
    • Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstance. This is a Kiss of Death that you self-initiate and is the antithesis of the Prize Mentality. Nothing kills arousal like pity. Even if you don’t seriously consider yourself pathetic, it never serves your best interest to paint yourself as pathetic.

17:00 – Jay’s Perspectives

  • What did you like best about The Rational Male? 
    • The pure, philosophical brutality of the book. Like it or not gents, hypergamy is real, it’s inside every woman on the planet, and it’s NEVER going to change.
  • Share a favorite quote (maybe 2). Why did this quote(s) stand out?
    • Women don’t want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat.
    • Women never want full disclosure. Nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman than to think she’s figured a Man out based solely on her mythical feminine intuition (i.e. imagination).
    • Rejection is better than Regret.
  • What did you learn from this book / How did this book change you?
    • Showed me that if I want a satisfying relationship with a woman, ONGOING WORK is always a requirement
  • What did you like least? (critique)
    • Needs a “Dummies” version with less psychology vernacular 
  • What question(s) would you ask the author?
    • What’s your background? 
  • Any other related/connected books that you’d recommend to others?

22:00 – Matt’s Perspectives

  • What did you like best about this book? 
    • Describes in penetrating, objective detail how male female sexual dynamics work – with a minimum of bias.
  • Share a favorite quote (maybe 2). Why did this quote(s) stand out?
    • “You have to unlearn the old behaviors and condition new ones in order to right your course. This takes practice and repetition – even in the face of conditions that you would impulsively think would need to be reacted to otherwise. There is no substitute for perseverance.”
    • “The only way to determine genuine motivation and/or intent is to observe the behavior of an individual.”
  • What did you learn from this book / How did this book change you?
    • Taught me about hypergamy and how it works
  • What did you like least? (critique)
    • I could only read this book in bite size pieces
  • What question(s) would you ask the author?
    • What is your background and where are you coming from?
  • Any other related/connected books that you’d recommend to others?

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