The Joys and Horrors of Moving Your Home – TSMP #78

Matt and Jay discuss why moving your home (and change in general) is so hard, why you should look forward to it, and how to do it the right way!

We’re very excited to announce our books “Sexual Magnetism,” “The WASM Dating Handbook” and “Secrets of Sensual Massage” are now available!

Intro: Moving Your Home SUCKS

  • Of the 43 items on the Holmes and Rahe Stress test, moving your home includes at least 10 (and often many more) of the items on that list
    • The odds of you getting sick purely as a result of high levels of stress either during or after a move are very high!
  • Some studies show that more than 50% of people don’t move even though they’re unhappy where they are simply because it’s too stressful
  • One recent study shows that Moving Your Home is more stressful than
    • Relationship breakdown
    • Starting a new job 
    • Or even divorce! (Although that probably depends on how much you hate your spouse)

Reasons Why Moving Your Home Is So Hard

  1. You have to move your whole life
    1. You have to go through everything you own, one piece at a time
    2. Then you have to pack it up, put in in the truck, drive it, take it out of the truck, take it up and down stairs, then unpack it (or have a mover do it all)
  2. You’re hardwired to resist change
    1. Habits are hard to make and then they’re hard to break
    2. Moving your home requires breaking MANY habits in a very short period of time
  3. You have to make lots and lots and LOTS of decisions
    1. Where to live (price, amenities, neighborhood, neighbors, landlords for renters, escrow and negotiating for buyers, condition of house, how badly did they lie/conceal issues?, etc, etc)
    2. Where to work (hopefully you have a job nearby already)
    3. Saying goodbye to your old friends
    4. The challenges of meeting new people
    5. Where is all the new stuff you need to survive? (Grocery stores, supply stores, schools, restaurants, parks, good parts of town/bad parts of town, etc)
  4. Moving your home is EXPENSIVE
    1. Rent truck, packing, first & last month’s rent/deposit on new home, new furniture, things for the new place, storage, movers (or favors owed to friends), insurance, broken things, 
  5. Feeling Out of Control
    1. Lots of random things happen that you can’t control
      1. Flat tires, movers quitting, weather is super hot/cold, your back goes out, 
    2. Mistakes that you will make
      1. Bad planning, missed details, things forgotten, 
    3. Your timeline is at the mercy of other people and circumstances
      1. People don’t return calls. People forget. You’re put “in a cue” in a computer somewhere. 
  6. Shit WILL Go Sideways
    1. Things will go wrong. Count on it.
      1. Ie. In my case, my good buddy who was going to fly down to San Diego and help me move – his dad died just a couple days ago. Super Sad. His dad was a great guy. So not only will he not be able to help me move, I’ll be heading up to Northern California for the funeral instead of moving on the weekend I had scheduled and now I have to juggle a bunch of stuff around. That’s how things are when you move. Unforeseen problems WILL HAPPEN. That’s the nature of the beast.

How to Cope with the Difficult Parts of Moving Your Home

  1. Expect they’ll be difficult
  2. Save a bunch of money (much more than you think you’ll need)
  3. Take a lot of extra time (schedule at least 2x what you think you’ll need)
  4. Get help (friends, family, movers, other pros)
  5. Take breaks
  6. Keep your body loose and stretched out (most people get injured moving!)

The Hard-but-Great Things About Moving Your Home

  • New experiences
  • New, cool place to live (or, if it’s a fixer-upper, the opportunity to create one)
  • New friends
  • Opportunity to declutter!
  • The better you are at moving, the better you are at travel
    • And travel is one of the few things that ALWAYS improves your life
  • The unknown you could have never expected
    • One of my personal rules about travel: “There’s always going to be at least one shitty thing you’d never expect but there’s also going to be at least five incredible things you’d never expect.”
      • Same thing is true with moving
  • Moving your home helps you to appreciate the value of trying new things
    • When I first moved to SD from NorCal I was doing new stuff every day. New events every weekend. Exploring. Experiencing. It was all great. Beach just a few minutes away. Surfing. Sushi! New cool people. Neat little restaurants. Could drive from snow to swim in ocean in less than 2 hours (that was a cool experience)
    • Over time I explored less and less. Eventually I almost stopped trying new stuff.
    • Then as I’m prepping to move, I start looking around more and, for example, I found a new Chinese buffet a mile from my house that is amazing! It’s been there for 3 years and I just tried it two weeks ago. And now I won’t be able to eat there anymore.
    • TRY NEW THINGS PEOPLE!!!
  • Growth
    • The more time you spend outside your comfort zone, the more capacity you have to experience increased pleasure, satisfaction, connection, stress reduction and overall freedom

Conclusion

  • Moving your home SUCKS! But guess what, so does GROWTH!
  • The older we get, the less we want to try new things, to push outside our comfort zones, to look stupid, to make mistakes. But consciously spending time in this “uncomfortable” state is the secret to accomplishing ever greater and more amazing things.
  • We challenge you to find some area in your life and ‘move it around’ – mix it up – try something new!
    • Maybe change your exercise program, maybe your finances, maybe your sex life (plug book), maybe your relationship with your kids,
    • Maybe it’s something big – going back to college or writing a book
    • Maybe it’s something spiritual
    • And hey, maybe it’s making that move that you’ve been wanting to make!
  • Whatever it is, try something new. Push yourself a little bit. Make that hard choice and become a little bit more awesome.
  • Do it! Make the move! And, as always, Stay Superior!

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