Welcome back to the second part of our series on Sexual Magnetism! Today we’re going to dig even deeper into what to say to attract women – and what NOT to say. For those of you who are just joining us, make sure to read How to Talk to Women – Part 1 before you continue. Multiple elements in that article are foundational to understanding male/female dynamics.
Alright, let’s get started!
Talk Less, Say More, STFU
The strongest leading men don’t talk much. James Bond is direct, aggressive and straight to the point. Arnold Schwarzenegger never speaks unless he needs to. And if Clint Eastwood only got paid by each word he spoke in movies, he’d be flat broke by now.
There’s a reason these men are so famous. Each one has mastered the power of his words. They say only what needs to be said and no more. This habit is important for everyone you speak to but it’s especially valuable with women. The less you say, the more powerful your words become to her.
For example, if you’re on a date and she looks sexy in her dress, don’t endlessly tell her how gorgeous she is and how lucky you are to be with her. Instead, look her up and down, say “that dress would look amazing on the floor of my bedroom,” then smile, stop talking and move on with the rest of the date. Her mind is going a million miles an hour imagining you in bed, which is always a good thing. Plus your silence gives her the thrill of trying to figure you out.
Have plans for your date but leave some mystery, don’t tell her everything. Create something for her birthday but keep it secret and then surprise her. Hint at things without describing them fully. Use both your words and your silence to show her you’re strong and solid but playful too.
For maximum impact use your words sparingly and make them count. This goes for dating and for the rest of life as well. The world will be a better place when all men say less and mean more.
Don’t Complain To a Woman. Ever.
Complaining is auditory cancer. It infects and weakens both yourself and the people around you. There are multiple studies showing why you shouldn’t complain to anyone but it’s vitally important that you never do it around women.
It Makes You Look Useless
When you complain you are verbally confirming that you don’t know how to solve your current dilemma. Showing a woman that you’re ineffective demonstrates low value and will kill any desire she has for you. Superior Men know that sometimes things get difficult but there is always a solution to every problem. Look for the answer, find it and then fix it. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who can do whatever needs to be done.
For example, if you’re on a date and you get a flat tire, don’t start talking about how pissed you are, how difficult it will be to repair or how you’re so sorry it messed up the evening. She will appreciate you so much more if you remain quiet, keep your anger to yourself and either A) call the tow truck or AAA to come change the tire, or B) help her out of the car and then change the tire yourself. (Btw, if you can keep your sense of humor while changing a tire in front of a girl on a date, we guarantee she’s going to be at least slightly turned on.)
It Puts Her In A Bad Mood
Women are incredibly sensitive to – and affected by – your emotional state. If a Superior Man is happy but his woman is upset, assuming she isn’t crazy he can put a smile back on her face with a minimum of effort. By the same token, if a regular guy comes home furious about his horrible boss and his girlfriend was having a good afternoon, her evening is almost guaranteed to get shitty. As much as women love to bitch about stuff, they would much rather have you take charge, lift their spirits and show them a good time.
If you can control your emotions you will greatly increase your chances of a happier woman, and consequently, a much more enjoyable relationship.
Get Support From Your Male Friends
Life sucks. Sometimes life sucks a lot. No matter how hard you work, how smart you are and how well you plan, eventually something is going to fall apart. This is natural and inevitable. The question then becomes how we deal with it.
Often we can fix our own issues. A Superior Man assesses his problems, takes initiative and makes immediate steps towards solving the situation. But occasionally the challenge may be too difficult for us to handle alone. We may need help. We may even need emotional support.
If you do need to talk to a friend or a mentor, be careful the words that you use. The way you speak about your frustration is directly connected to how quickly you find a solution. Complaining or whining removes your power and transforms you into a victim. Instead you should share your dilemma, talk about how it’s affecting you, and then immediately start discussing ways you can overcome that challenge.
Remember, men hear complaints and offer suggestions for improvement; women hear complaints and enjoy the drama. Make sure you’re not the woman in the relationship.
Have Something Good To Say / Lead the Conversation
The world is full of noise, chaos and stress. From the second she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep, drama is being heaped on your woman. In the middle of this maelstrom, a Superior Man has an excellent opportunity to benefit his lady by leading the conversation with patience, intelligence and a playful attitude.
Before you talk, consider first how you can add value. Random chattering is just more background noise to her. You have a chance to be better than the boring and stressful world. Have a purpose before initiating conversation.
Invite her to come with you for coffee. Talk to her about the horrible movie you just saw. Find out her favorite childhood toys. Recite poetry. Tell bad jokes. Discuss the ugliest actresses in Hollywood. Read her something from a book. Describe, in detail, what you’re going to do to her that night in bed.
As the leader in your relationship, it’s your job to guide both the conversation and the experience. Great banter and interesting discussion are both important but no matter what you’re talking about make sure you have a plan first. She wants to be taken on an adventure. Even more than that, she wants to know YOU are that adventure. If she knows you’ve already taken care of the plans she can relax and enjoy spending time with you.
One last thought: Even if you’re very creative, it may still take you a minute to find something positive and interesting to discuss. It’s perfectly okay to remain quiet while you’re thinking. And don’t forget, Thumper’s father is still right after all these years; It might be best to say nothing at all.
Listen and Learn
Probably the single most important skill you can have in human communication is the ability to actively listen. Dale Carnegie in his classic “How To Win Friends and Influence People ” considered this talent to be absolutely essential:
“If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.”
The skill of listening is valuable for any conversation but it’s even more important when a man is talking to a woman. When men talk, they are sharing information; when a woman talks, she’s sharing herself and her emotional state.
The process of making love to a woman is the process of getting her to open up, more and more, from the first time she tells you her name all the way until she reveals her naked body and soul for you to possess. The more you listen, the better you will understand what she truly enjoys in life and the more interesting and satisfying spending time with her will be.
Master the Art of Flirting
When you flirt with a girl you’re teasing her. Pushing her buttons. Playing with her. Anytime you flirt you’re actively generating a push/pull dynamic between the two of you. She calls this “chemistry” and you better learn it because it’s gonna be on the test.
So what does it look like? Let’s say you’re at work and one of your cute co-workers says “Can you help me carry this box?”
You could say “sure” and help her out but that’s boring! Instead it’s far more fun to dramatically flex your biceps and say “A big, strong man like me is always happy to help a damsel in distress.” Another option is to say “no problem” and then when you pick the box up pretend to stagger under the “gigantic weight” of the box and call her “heartless and manipulative.” And of course you can always go with the classic “No!” followed by a big smile.
Calling a girl a “damsel in distress,” especially in today’s uber-PC environment, is lots of fun. It implies that she’s helpless and weak (which she might me), that you’re strong and generous (which you are) and that she needs you to take care of her (which she does, even if she doesn’t know it.) The more independent the woman is, the more irritating – but secretly enjoyable – this technique will be for her.
Pretending the box is heavy can be great, especially when you blame her afterwards for “damaging your back.” If you’re lucky, she may even pretend to apologize and offer a backrub to help ease your suffering.
Saying “No!” in a teasing way lets her see that you’re playful and funny. It also subtly lets her know that you’re not just a pathetic lapdog that will do what 99% of other guys would do. By setting up a little temporary challenge you’re demonstrating that you understand the game of sexual attraction and that you’re interested in playing that game with her. Golden.
Note: As much fun as it is to flirt with co-workers, we don’t recommend hooking up with them. However, it’s never a bad idea to have girls who think you’re attractive and fun. And hey, if they ever decide to leave the company, game on!
Anytime you’re talking to a hot girl make sure you look for opportunities to flirt. Not only is it a lot more fun, it’ll turn her on faster than anything else. We’ll be going into a lot more detail on flirting in Part 3 of our Sexual Magnetism series so make sure you’re subscribed to our newsletter so you don’t miss it.
To Be – Or Not To Be – An Alpha Male
The vast majority of women consider Alpha Men to be attractive. A man who is strong, confident, powerful and comfortable sends all the right signals to a woman – even if he’s not trying to. But what about all the rest of the men? The Betas, Omegas or even Zetas of the world?
What do you do if you’re 50 pounds overweight, you’re struggling with your career and you can’t even talk to marginally attractive girls? What then? Should you give up and become a monk? Or, worse, an increasingly frustrated and dangerous incel?
First, if you’re feeling any of those desperate feelings, make sure you go read How to Talk to Women – Part 1 right now. Then read through our Superior Man series. You may even want to spend a few months voluntarily celibate while you get your shit together. However, if you’re already working on getting your life in order and you’d like to meet some women right away, never fear. There is always a way for the determined man to get what he wants!
The Power – and Danger – of Archetypes
Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Omega. These terms, or more specifically these male archetypes, are only virtual representations for a collection of characteristics. When a man behaves “Alpha” he is making decisions, being a leader and fighting for what he believes. When he acts “Beta” he is working hard, helping things go smoothly and sacrificing his own desires to make her happy. When he is being “Omega” he is reveling in his weakness and blaming somebody or something else for his failures. These don’t have to be permanent states. You have the power to change at any point.
Some men in the manosphere would have you believe if you’re not alpha 24/7 you’re never going to be successful with women or in life. This is simply not true. There is no such thing as full-time alpha who is in a happy relationship. Every alpha man in a LTR has periods of beta, gamma and sadly sometimes even omega. Ryan Reynolds loses his shit when his daughter sings, Dwayne Johnson spoonfeeds his girlfriend, Johnny Depp plays with dolls when life gets crazy, and we’re not even going to discuss the number of celebrities who have gone down the dark path of drugs, adultery or violence towards their women.
The point is that every action a man makes will either A) attract, or B) repel, a woman, depending on the situation. Some actions he performs will be very attractive to her, some will be mildly interesting, some slightly irritating, and a few very unattractive. Knowing this, a man who isn’t a stereotypical alpha male can still act like one and spark her attraction.
Do What You Do, Love Your Own Life, Meet Hot Women
Maybe you don’t like giant, manly Pitbulls – maybe you like cats. Great, if you’re a cat guy start volunteering at an animal shelter. Shelters are a great place to talk with sweet girls who believe in romantic possibility. In fact, you might be surprised how many relationships start over a shared love of animals.
Maybe, instead of the gym, you want to learn to salsa dance. After his wife left him, one of our best friends decided to become a salsa dancer. Over the next two years he lost 30 pounds and met dozens of sexy young women in the process. His main problem now that he’s re-married is trying to keep his dance partners out of his pants!
Maybe you’re into knife-making. Maybe you love horticulture. Maybe your only social outlet is LARPing every weekend. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you’re getting out into the world, learning things, meeting people and living your life. However there are some objective measures, as a salsa dancer you are much more in demand than a LARPer. This may be the time to start expanding some of your interests.
There’s 3.5 Billion women on the planet. They’re literally everywhere you go. The secret is finding out what YOU love first and then going and doing that thing. Your next date will be waiting to talk to you there. Even better, when you meet that new hottie you will have pre-screened her so you’re both guaranteed to have at least one mutual love. Nice.
To increase your sexual magnetism, learn these important skills:
- Talk Less, Say More, STFU
- Don’t Complain To a Woman. Ever.
- Have Something Good To Say / Lead the Conversation
- Listen and Learn
- Master the Art of Flirting
- Love Your Own Life
Women are constantly surrounded by boring, whiny, neutered men. A Superior Man can distinguish himself immediately by implementing these skills. For lots more great content (including the entire Sexual Magnetism series) sign up now for our free newsletter. In Part 3 we’ll be covering the art and science of flirting and how you can talk your way into a girl’s pants. You won’t want to miss it!
Until next time, Stay Superior!
Cool coffee shop photo courtesy of rawpixel via Unsplash