It’s Friday night. You’re out having a few drinks and you see a beautiful woman sitting by herself at the bar. How would you feel about going over and starting up a conversation? Excited? Terrified? Would you enjoy the opportunity to meet her? Or are you pretty sure you’d crash and burn?
Here’s another scenario. You’re at a work mixer. One of your female co-workers introduces you to her friend, an attractive elementary school teacher. The cute teacher smiles at you. You can already tell you’d love to hook up with this girl. But what are you going to say?
One more. You’ve been on a few dates with a sexy, intelligent pre-med student. You’ve both had fun and you’ve held hands but nothing sexual has happened yet. That evening you’re drinking wine back at her place, listening to music and talking. How do you get from talking on the couch to having sex on the couch?
Scenes like this play out millions of times every day throughout the world. Unfortunately, the vast majority of men don’t have the understanding or the skills to convert opportunities like these into dates or sex. The great news is that both the understanding and the skills can be learned by every man willing to study and practice. How is it possible that EVERY man could learn these skills? The answer is rooted in thousands of generations of human biology.
The Opposite Sex
The first thing we need to understand about male/female interaction is that, unlike what modern media is currently telling us, Men and Women are biologically very different. Men are primarily ruled by logic, women are primarily ruled by their emotions. Men want to do things, women want to feel things. Women love it when a man does something excellent they can celebrate. Men love when a woman praises and celebrates the things he has done. The two sides are wonderfully complimentary, like a lock-and-key.
The key for a man is to realize that in order to unlock attraction in a woman, he cannot behave like a woman. He must be masculine. He must embody strong male traits like strength, leadership, exploration and challenge. To attract women, it is absolutely vital that we think like men, talk like men and act like men.
Be Interesting, Be Adventurous
Connor McGregor. Elon Musk. Joe Rogan. Vladimir Putin. Peter Dinklage. Tom Brady. Vin Diesel.
Mentioning any of these men in conversation immediately sparks intrigue. Everyone knows these guys. They’re doing things. Creating things. Changing things. Love them or hate them, you can’t deny that they’re fucking interesting.
If you want to attract a woman, you need to tap into her curiosity. She wants to be elevated beyond her boring daily routine. She wants a man who will show her a good time. You must bring her on an adventure. Are you someone who is objectively interesting? Look on your calendar for the next two weeks. If you have nothing on it besides work, you need to fix that in a hurry. Get a hobby, learn some skills, donate blood, take a class, ride a unicycle, ANYTHING.
The more cool things you have going on in your life, the more interesting you will be to women. It’s that simple.
You must do this BEFORE moving forward.
Confidence Is King
Confidence is attractive. Confidence is exciting. Someone who knows who they are, what they want and where they’re going is universally interesting – especially to females. Women are hardwired to pay attention to non-verbal and para-verbal queues (more on that later.) If you genuinely believe in yourself, a woman will sense that and be naturally inclined to believe in you as well.
Every time you talk to a woman make sure to be confident. Even if it’s something as simple as smiling at your next-door neighbor, the choice to hold your head up, make eye contact and give a cocky smile sends a message that you are friendly but also in control of yourself and your surroundings.
The most powerful statement of confidence is when you feel comfortable enough to tell a woman directly what to do. This ranges from making the plans (ie. “I’m picking you up tonight from work so wear something sexy and red”), giving her fun challenges while out to dinner (ie. “Go to the restroom and bring me back your panties”), to taking control in the bedroom. (ie. “Baby, I want you face down, ass up.”)
No matter where you are in your life and what you’ve accomplished, every one of you has done great things. Be proud of those successes. Hold your head high. Remember that you are amazing. The more you can hold onto that feeling, the more she’ll enjoy talking to you.
Use Masculine Body Language
Why does The Rock command every room he walks into? Is it because he has large muscles? Is it because he’s famous? Is it because he’s good looking? Well yes, those things don’t hurt, but the same is true for every other action star in Hollywood. So why is Dwayne Johnson the highest paid actor in the world? Arguably the single biggest reason is because he has learned to control his body to radiate a powerful yet comfortable presence.
- The Eyes Have It: His eyes are bright, alert and unafraid of good eye-contact
- Perfect Posture: You will never see him slouch – His posture is always tall and commanding
- Walks Like a Lion: He moves slowly and confidently
- Resonant Voice: He speaks from his belly and uses a deeper voice
- He is Relaxed and Comfortable: He breathes deeply and never fidgets or acts nervous
- Easy Smile and Laugh: He chooses to be happy and enjoys sharing his good mood with others
Psychologists have known for years that less than 10% of our communication is through our words. This means more than 90% of how we convey information is through non-verbal means like body language and tone of voice. The better you are at controlling these factors and projecting a strong, powerful presence, the more women will be subconsciously drawn to you.
Respect Her Desire To Talk To You…
You’re a busy man. If you’re not taking care of your work responsibilities, you’re managing problems, coordinating future events or taking a few minutes of downtime. Because your schedule is always full, women will regularly interrupt whatever you’re doing to try and talk. Unfortunately, doing two things at the same time is a skill we are notoriously bad at. What this means is that most of us hear at best only a part of what she’s saying.
Women desire attention more than anything else. This means talking with you is number one on her list of priorities. If you want to increase your success with her, stop whatever else you are doing and give her 100% of your mental energy. You’ll make her feel appreciated, the conversation will be more valuable to both of you, and afterwards you’ll be more effective at whatever you need to do on your own.
Oh and while you’re at it, make sure to put down your phone. This should always be a no-brainer but in the 21st century we practically assume people will talk to us while scrolling through their Instagram. The time has come for gentlemen to change that culture. Close your browser, pause your game and wait to return that text until after you’ve talked to her.
…and Demand Respect From Her
As a man your most valuable asset is your time. There will be situations where she wants to talk and you have something you need to do. In those cases make a plan to talk to her later when you can give her the 100% attention she deserves.
If you are both talking and neither of you need to do other things, you should be able to hold her attention. If she is scrolling through her phone, ask her to put it down. If she doesn’t, walk away. Your time is too valuable to invest in a woman who isn’t returning your investment.
By the same token, you should never tolerate a woman who calls you last minute and flakes on your date – or worse, doesn’t show up at all. If she desires you, she won’t “forget” or have “something else come up.” Tell her point blank that her behaviour is unacceptable and that if she doesn’t change it immediately you’re gone.
Be Ready To Walk At Any Moment
21st century women lack discipline. It’s a sad fact of our current world. Sure we could complain until we’re blue in the face about how modern women are manipulative, hypocritical bitches but the truth is it’s generally it’s not their fault. Appropriate boundaries are established in the home and most girls haven’t had great male figures in their lives to teach them respect, discipline and punishment.
Now as much as they might deny it, the crazy fact is that women enjoy being disciplined. Don’t believe us? The most popular romance novel in history – 50 Shades of Grey – is all about a super alpha male who physically abuses women when they step out of line. Over 125 Million copies of the series have been sold so obviously women are attracted to the concept.
Let’s be clear, we’re not saying BDSM is the ideal way to set good boundaries in your relationship (although it can be fun). What IS important is that modern women are fascinated – and even sexually aroused – by a man who will let them know unequivocally when they have misbehaved.
Just like with immature children, undisciplined women must be taught that you won’t tolerate inappropriate behavior. Rudeness, lying, manipulation, disrespect or even flat out cruelty must be pointed out and changed immediately. Let her know that you refuse to spend time with a woman who talks or acts like this and give her a chance to apologize. If she doesn’t apologize right away, leave her presence. Or just don’t tolerate it and ignore her completely. Negative attention is still attention.
It doesn’t matter if it’s in your first 30 seconds of conversation, halfway through your fourth date or ten years into your marriage – your principles and ideals MUST be more important than the woman. The moment she realizes you will change your core beliefs to suit her current mood is the moment her attraction for you dies – along with all chances of sex and happiness with her.
If you have the strength to walk away anytime your woman mistreats you, you will always have the single most powerful tool in every interaction with women: Your self-respect.
How does a Superior Man successfully talk to women?
- He Embodies Masculinity, Not Femininity
- He’s Interesting and Adventurous
- He’s Confident
- He Uses Strong Male Body Language
- He Respects His Woman’s Desire For Conversation
- He Demands Respect From Her
- And He Is Always Ready To End the Relationship If She Treats Him Badly
Follow these guidelines and you’ll be well on your way.
If you want more powerful rules for how to talk to women, make sure to catch part two of this series coming soon. If you’re not subscribed to our email list, sign up here so you don’t miss any of this important material. Next time we’ll be digging into active listening, the magic of flirting, sexual innuendo, why being awkward is okay and the real reason Bambi is a movie all guys should study.
Until then, Stay Superior gentlemen!