How To Live Emotionally Detached

Today’s guest article is by our friend Eric Crake. Eric is a massage therapist, holistic health advocate, podcaster, writer and stand-up comic. For more information about Eric and his work make sure to check the links at the end of this article.

Editor’s Note: As excellent as they are, our guest authors here at WASM may not share the same beliefs that we do. In spite of this fact, we choose to present their unedited thoughts on this website as part of our ongoing quest for information, entertainment and truth.


1. EMBRACE Death Now and Write Your Eulogy

Acceptance is a masculine trait. It takes a realistic and logic-based mindset to look at the truth that life ends the same for everyone and to plan accordingly. Once you can accept that you are essentially a dead man walking on borrowed time you will come to live a much more fulfilling and meaningful life, whatever that may look like for you personally. For me it means working as few hours as possible so that I can pursue what I am passionate about: Writing, Sex and Spiritual Evolution.

Jesus the Christ said it best, “A man must first die to find life.” Write how you want the Universe to remember you in death so that you can plan an intentional life accordingly.

2. Practice Open Relationships

You cannot control women…or people in general for that matter. Having open relationships places your happiness solely in your own hands. Since you can no longer blame your partner for your shitty life or unfulfilled sexual desires, you are free to do whatever you want with whomever you want whenever you want.

Open relationships can be likened to a capitalistic free marketplace and monogamous ones could be compared to a communist dictatorship (not too far from the truth in many marriages). An open relationship decreases drama since your wife/gf can no longer hold sex over your head and use it as a weapon. The truth is that if a woman is going to cheat on you in a closed relationship she’s gonna do it, whether you have a legal contract or not.

Researchers have found more than 50% of people are cheating on their partners…and that doesn’t include non sexual emotional affairs. My personal observation is that most people don’t really settle into monogamy until their 60’s when their health and sex drives begin to diminish significantly. Monogamy is really more of a survival mechanism than anything else. You pair up with a stronger mate to protect you in times of famine, war and illness. A detached man is self sufficient and relies on others as little as possible. He takes care of his own needs.

It’s important to note that open relationships are much more beneficial for sexually dominate Alphas. Beta males often times just end up getting cucked by their wife/gf in open relationships.

For me, open relationships are awesome because they allow me to have a loving, meaningful, long-term friendship with my main partner while still having an exciting sex life with whomever I choose. This style of relationship may not be a lifelong sustainable solution for most men but while you are in your twenties and thirties it should at least be tried for a season. It may be something I eventually grow out of or it may work even into the Viagra retirement home years.

Ultimately open relationships serve as a daily reminder that even those that we love and are attached to will leave as we depart from this earthly realm. We came here empty handed and we shall leave just the same.

3. Take a Hallucinogenic Drug Such As LSD, Ayahuasca or Psilocybin (Magic) Mushrooms

There has recently been an increase in the therapeutic use of hallucinogens for addiction, PTSD, depression and altering mental thought patterns. (Imperial College London. University of Zurich. Yale University.)

Doing hallucinogens is like doing Yoga for your mind: It builds strength and fortitude. But it also requires quite a deal of detachment to undergo a trip and not get lost down rabbit holes.

If you’re planning to use hallucinogens, make sure to do your research first. Talk to other people who have used them before. Learn about Set and Setting. NEVER combine hallucinogens with psych medication or other drugs. Find someone to help you through your first several experiences.

Taking a “trip” can be a scary prospect for some, especially those of us who have mental health challenges. However it is important to remember that a breakthrough is often right on the other side of fear.

EDITOR’S CAUTION: Hallucinogens are extremely powerful and under the wrong circumstances can be dangerous or even deadly. WASM does not advocate the use of LSD or other mind-altering drugs.

4. Ask a Girl Out That’s “Out of Your League”

We often are attached to certain ideas of ourselves that no longer serve us. Maybe you think a particular girl in your yoga class or the barista at the coffee shop is simply “too hot for you.” You very well could be sabotaging yourself and limiting your potential. Ask yourself what are these beliefs even based on?

We must constantly put our beliefs to the test. Whenever I have a belief I try to test it in reality to see if it holds up. If it does not then I change the belief. So maybe the girl in front you doing downward dog would actually LOVE to grab coffee and hangout with YOU after class. There’s only one way to find out…

Ask her!

5. Do Stand-up Comedy

I started doing stand-up my second year in sobriety/recovery. Simply put, it changed my life. I was so used to the daily adrenaline rush that amphetamines provided that I knew I needed a new high. Why not get on a stage and try to make a room full of strangers laugh by pouring out my heart full of insecurities, self-loathing and self-hatred? Well it worked. I fell in love with the craft and killed at my first show. I have not had much time to do stand-up as of late but it will always be a hobby of mine that I will continuously dabble in till death. It takes enormous balls to do and is not for the weak minded.

6. Study or Join Esoteric Religions, Philosophies and “Cults”

Don’t drink the Kool-Aid? Says who? Your mommy? Maybe your pastor? SO what?! Cults and eastern teachings have some ideas that will break through your Christian childhood brainwashing and give you a new perspective on life… a perspective that you may actually fall in love with. I am currently in a “cult” (a good one) and it has given me a new lease on life and destroyed many self-destructive behaviors and mindsets from my childhood.

7. Go All In On a Game of Poker

Norm MacDonald, one of my heroes, has lost everything he had not once but twice by gambling it away in a single poker game. When interviewed as to why he bets so much on one game, he simply replies “Why does it matter? I know I can get it all back. It’s just money.”

Some might call him a loser but he’s also one of the ballsiest comedians ever to pick up the sacred microphone and set foot on stage. The man is a gunslinger and he does not give a fuck about political correctness or Libtards feelings. I love the man and think he’s the shit. Watch his comedy for a good idea what detachment looks like in practice.

8. Live in The Moment Like Bill Murray

Bill Murray lives in the moment. From doing the dishes at frat parties to bartending randomly at bars in Charlottesville, the man just wants to experience the moment. His fans adore him because he is absolutely detached from his fame and status as a Hollywood icon. There’s a great documentary about him on Netflix right now called “The Bill Murray Stories: Life Lessons Learned from a Mythical Man.” Highly recommended.

9. Realize You Don’t Need To Lift Weights

Weight lifting enlarges the ego but it can also destroy your joints, mobility, longevity and flexibility. I used to believe I needed a six-pack and shoulder caps to get laid and to feel good about myself in the mirror. Nonsense. The key to attract females is inside your mind. Having a nice body is not of much help unless you first have the mind set. Women are attracted to fat guys who don’t give a fuck about rejection.

Some of the most insecure, weak-minded beta males I know have six-packs and biceps to cover up their insecurities. This of course is a generalization, however detachment and mindset transcend the limitations of the physical body every day of the week. I personally like Yoga and hiking. Long-term they are better for your health and you meet way more women in yoga classes than you do at the bench press. Hikes are also a great date idea to get laid and it does not cost a dime.

Ask yourself would you rather be Arnold or a Shaolin Monk at 65?

10. Take a Moral Inventory and Make Amends To Everyone You Have Harmed

This is part of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps of Recovery. I have gone through the process several times and I get a little more emotional freedom every time I make a serious analysis of my shortcomings and character defects. It takes a real man to honestly look at himself in the mirror and work on his weaknesses.

I am personally not real big on amends or “sorry.” I think “sorry” is typically a lame word used by weak men to avoid taking responsibility and making real behavioral changes. But there are definitely times it can be healing to make amends to others. However, be aware that attempting to make peace with certain people from the past may cause even more harm to both you and them.

When making amends, and in all things, use discretion and remain detached from the outcome.


Stay Superior!


Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

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Eric Crake
Eric is a massage therapist, holistic health advocate, podcaster, writer and stand-up comic. He's passionate about helping men improve their sex lives and their spiritual evolution. You can reach him at [email protected] You can find more info about Eric's work at "Elitehealingsystem.com" and on his YouTube channel "The INFP Eric Project."