Forget the Outcome – Lose Yourself to the Process

Today’s article about process is by our friend Sigma. Sigma is a health consultant and spiritual teacher. For more information about Sigma and his excellent work check the links below this article.

Editor’s Note: As excellent as they are, our guest authors here at WASM may not share all the same beliefs that we do. In spite of this fact, we choose to present their thoughts on this website as raw as possible as part of our ongoing quest for education, entertainment and truth.

“Find something you love and then let it kill you.”

~ Charles Bukowski

We live in an outcome-dependent society; AKA a fear-based society.

Your boss needs to know “What’s the bottom line?” Your client worries “How much is this going to cost me?”  Your partner keeps asking “What’s the likelihood this deal is going to go through?” Your ego whispers “I only want to go out tonight if I am for sure going to get laid.”  Your mind demands “I’m only going to write this book if it becomes a NY Times Bestseller.”  Your fear says “I will only get on stage if they laugh at my jokes.”

You catch my drift. 

Most men, and people in general, need certainty. It makes sense. Life is short and people want results before effort is freely given. But here’s the problem with this cart before the horse approach – you get so attached to an outcome that you lose focus on the process.

The process is where the magic happens. In this very moment all we have is process. The work. The doing. In this breath all I have is this word I am writing. I don’t know if anyone gives a fuck about this article I am writing, and guess what? I don’t give a shit. I love the process of writing. 

The outcome does not exist, it is an illusion of your ego. The outcome is nothing more than a sum total of your efforts channeled into the process, day in and day out. This is why I love writing so much. There is a certain level of blind faith and stupidity that it takes to sit down at a computer and start pulling ideas down out of the ethers and putting them into human nomenclature. 

I have no idea if what I have to say will resonate with a single person but I still write everyday. Most days a thousand words, because I am a writer. I love writing. I would do it even if I wasn’t getting paid to write this article. Oh right, I’m not getting paid for this article…. It doesn’t even matter. One day I will be paid for what I write. Until that day I will continue to become a better writer because I’m committed to the process of writing.

Forget the Outcome - Lose Yourself to the Process 1

Process In Action

Lets get practical. How can you apply this process-oriented way of thinking into your life? 

I want to focus on life purpose and women because these are the two most important aspects of any man’s life. On a spiritual level, you will never be satisfied if you are not pursuing your life purpose. On a carnal level, you will never be content with yourself if you are not striving to meet your sexual biological imperatives. As I have talked about in my other articles, these two imperatives feed one another. The more energy you pour into your life purpose, the more attractive you become to women and the less effort you have to spend in magnetizing them to you. 

Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven (life purpose) and all the hoes will come a running’.

Striving for one’s life purpose can be a daunting task even for the bravest man. This is where having an outcome independent mindset comes in. The ideas is to aim so high that you never actually reach the ceiling. The real goal isn’t accomplishing your life purpose, whatever that may be at the moment. It’s about who you become as a man in the process of working towards this life purpose.

Becoming a millionaire is not about the paper money (although that is certainly a nice side effect). Becoming a millionaire is about who you must become in the process. You will be forced to overcome many challenges and obstacles that would be a deterrent to the average human being. This is why most people will never be millionaires.

The biggest part of getting the hot girl is not about the girl at all. It is about the man you must become in the process of her buy in. You will be forced to face fears, insecurities and possible rejection and gain various skills and strengths along the way. Then, once she buys in, you will need still more skills to negotiate the myriad challenges of a relationship. 

You will date many women, have your heart broken multiple times and will break hearts yourself, all of which will teach you still more about yourself. And eventually, once you persist and find an excellent partner, that relationship will either end in breakup or death. Louis CK says it best: If this all goes well than you still get to watch one another die. That is literally the best possible outcome for a relationship. 

Regardless of how it ends, the process is what the two of you will have together. 

Life Is Dangerous

Life is unpredictable and dangerous. As I write this article, I am sitting on a Starbucks patio in San Diego. Five minutes ago I witnessed a full-on car wreck literally twenty feet in front of my face. An old man floored his pickup truck into the back of the drive-through line, hopped over the parking lot embankment and launched himself into oncoming traffic. 

Fucking ridiculous, straight out of a Tarantino action flick. Never in my whole life seen anything like it. My point is life is dangerous. You will fucking die no matter how safe you try to live. You could die tomorrow. You will for sure die at some point probably pissing yourself in a nursing home. Sounds great, doesn’t it?

We already know the outcome of this physical life, death. But not everyone gets to really live and enjoy the process. It is a certainty that everyone dies, but most will never live.

I do my best to embody the spiritual principle of dying while still in the body. Dying to your mind and ego so that your Soul can live. Dying to the outcome (detachment) so that you can focus on the moment (process.)

Everything is impossible until you actually start the PROCESS of just fucking doing it.

We live in a society that wants to think about it, dream about it, fantasize about it, jerk off to it, consult a psychologist or life coach about it. Dude none of that shit matters unless you just take the first step which is PROCESS.

It is so easy to get your rocks off from dreaming about your goal, bragging about your dreams or jerking off to the hottie on PornHub, but actually starting the nitty gritty process… that’s no fun. We live in an illusory world that wants the outcome without the process.

Everyone wants to be famous for no reason, just look at the Kardashians, Instagram “models” or The Real Housewives of wherever the fuck.

The lazy fatass wants to be given a pill to lose weight. The poor person wants a government handout. The single guy wants love without having to risk rejection. Everyone dreams of being successful but how many people do you know actually take the steps necessary to become successful?

Bukowski’s Process

Charles Bukowski is a perfect example of a man who did not get hung up on the outcome but instead focused on the process of writing. He was in 50’s before he saw any commercial success or money. 

He had been writing since he was a teenager without much to show for himself. That is over forty years of process without much action in the results department.

Imagine the inner fortitude, confidence and self-belief it would take to write for forty years, being constantly told that you are a shit writer and should dream a different dream. He took several breaks from writing to try and live a normal life but always found himself at back at the typewriter.

The guy was a creative genius because he did not sell himself and his art short by changing his style to make his books more marketable to the masses. He intuitively knew he had a good story to tell and continued writing for years. Eventually he became a millionaire when a publisher took a chance on him.

Bukowski is more interesting to read than the so-called “classics” because he is real, visceral, vulgar and authentic. He does not give a shit about what the critics or reader think of him. His audacity and boldness come across in every paragraph. He already knew who and what he was. He wrote because he loved to write. He did not write for mere mortals but for himself and the gods. That man could have easily gone to the grave without ever seeing a dime for his life’s work. But the gods rewarded him for his love of his craft and detachment from the outcome.

When you free yourself from the expectations of others (and especially your own mind/ego), you are free to be a true artist. The artist does not paint for anyone but himself. There is intrinsic value in the process. It matters not if anyone else sees his painting’s true greatness, for the real greatness is in the mind’s eye of the artist himself. 

Whatever you do, do for yourself and God. At the end of the day, those are the only two who will ever matter. He who is detached from outcome is free to walk among the gods.

I leave you with one of my favorite Bukowski poems.

Go All the Way

By Charles Bukowski

If you’re going to try, go all the way. 

Otherwise, don’t even start. 

This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. 

It could mean not eating for three or four days.  It could mean freezing on a park bench. 

It could mean jail. 

It could mean derision. 

It could mean mockery — isolation. 

Isolation is the gift. 

All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. 

And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. 

And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.

If you’re going to try, go all the way. 

There is no other feeling like that.

You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. 

You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. 

It’s the only good fight there is.

Forget the Outcome - Lose Yourself to the Process 2

To contact Sigma for one-on-one health consulting, email him at He has over a hundred instructional videos as well as regular live workshops on his popular YouTube Channel. You can also follow him on Instagram at Elite Health Consulting.

Stay Superior!

Join Wearesuperiormen!!

Do you love our content?

Of course you do!

Please help support by clicking through the banner below for your shopping. It won’t cost you anything extra and it helps us keep the lights on. Thanks so much!

Forget the Outcome - Lose Yourself to the Process 3

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, see our disclosure policy here.


Sigma is a massage therapist, holistic health advocate, podcaster, writer and stand-up comic. He's passionate about helping men improve their sex lives and their spiritual evolution. You can reach him at

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button